Borderline Offensive

Devin "Anytime" Hester scans the crowd

for groupies after taking two kickoffs to the

house against St. Louis on Monday Night Football

Now that the hysteria in Bears Nation over whether we should bench Rex Grossman for the remainder of the season has (rightfully) subsided, the next hand-wringer we're collectively tackling is whether superstar special teamer Devin Hester, with an NFL-record 6 return touchdowns already this year, should be moved from his position as backup cornerback to receiver in order to get the ball in his hands more often. The debate seems pretty one-sided, with the public and media strongly supporting the idea. The coaching staff, however, isn't sold.

Personally, I'm siding with Lovie on this one. Not only do I think he's earned our implicit trust in personnel and game-planning decisions, but I believe that this sounds like a better idea than it truly is. Let's look at each side:

Pros of Devin Hester joining the Offense

1) It adds a deep threat to our passing game and an extra element of explosiveness.

2) It forces defenses to account for him, opening up the run game and getting favorable coverages for our other receivers.

3) It could allow us to be more creative with decoy plays, reverses, screens and swing passes, etc.

Cons of Devin Hester joining the Offense

1) He has absolutely no idea how to play any position, and that takes time.

2) His ball skills are questionable (dropped a sure interception on MNF) and has a propensity to try too hard to make the big play or forget about ball security.

3) We already have a proven deep threat in Bernard Berrian and a receiver who is very comfortable in the slot in Rashied Davis.

4) With our depleted secondary, we may not be able to afford giving up another cornerback.

5) He is extremely small and inexperienced, thus he could only contribute in a very limited amount of situations (reverses, go-routes, screens). He would be ineffective running any type of precision route, making a sight adjustment, understanding audibles, or in the red zone.

I don't consider myself an out-and-out football expert, but I do like to read and understand as much as possible about the technical aspects of the game. One thing I don't believe the public is generally grasping in this debate is how technical the position of wide receiver is in the NFL. In college, the fastest players or most gifted athletes can dominate as receivers because they can simply outrun or outjump defensive backs for the ball.

In the NFL, successful receivers certainly have that ability, but their success is more predicated on superior technique and fundamental skills- route-running, getting out of their breaks at the correct times, body position and control, catching with the hands (as opposed to the body), making sight adjustments and choosing correct routes on multiple-route schemes, breaking off routes when appropriate, a profound understanding of coverages, non-verbal communication with the quarterback, etc, etc.

It seems to me that Devin Hester doesn't have any of those skills...he could take a screen pass or designed swing pass and try to make something happen in space, or he could just take off on a go route (or 9-route, in NFL parlance) and try to beat a corner in one-on-one coverage. But he'd lose almost any jump ball and he has questionable hands. I just don't see it.

Plus, we have a great jump-ball and possession guy (Moose), we have a speed burner (Berrian), and we have a complement of other receivers who can get it done (Des Clark, Rashied Davis, TJ, etc). I just don't know that this is the answer.

I am excited about the prospect of getting more touches for the most electrifying player on the Bears right now, just as anyone would be. But I think we should look at the likely outcome of putting him out there on offense with absolutely no time to prepare and no experience. I think we may be setting ourselves up for disappointment.

Hope the holidays are treating you all well. I'm really fired up to continue the holiday season this weekend with Gate's bash. More soon.

The Cubs are feelin' spendy

The Cubs are spending money like a Lincoln Park Trixie who nabbed an investment banker sans prenup these days. Some of their recent moves have been very well-advised, others, in the opinion of this blog, not so much. Let's talk about the minor ones before we get to the Main Event, which was yesterday's blockbuster news that we grabbed Alfonso Soriano for a mind-boggling 8 seasons and $136 million dollars, the fifth-richest baseball contract of all time.

Let's start at the beginning though, and see how the front office grades out:

Aramis Ramirez re-signing (5 Yrs, $73M): As most Cubs fans know, Aramis signed a four-year deal two years ago that allowed him to opt out of the final two years if he chose. Seeing as he had career highs of 38 HRs and 119 RBI in 2006, opting out was a no-brainer. The Cubs brought him back with a much better deal at age 28, making him a Cub through 2011. This deal was positive for a few reasons: he's still young enough to be productive for five more years, slugging third basemen are very hard to find, Aramis' numbers are top-tier offensively at any position, and he has expressed a desire to be a Cub for life on numerous occasions. The flip side of the coin is that Aramis' effort on the field is highly questionable at times, he produced almost all of his numbers last year after the Cubs were out of the playoff race (he had a horrendous start to 2006), and we may have overpaid for him.

To me, this deal was a good thing for one reason over all others: the damage was done two years ago when we gave him the opt-out clause. We had a chance to lock him up back then for 4 or 5 years and didn't do it. He then opted out when we already had a very long shopping list for the off-season- we needed at least two starters, bullpen help, a slugging corner outfielder, someone to replace the almost-certainly gone Juan Pierre, and possibly a middle infielder as well. We just couldn't afford to add a third basemen to the shopping list. We needed to keep the pieces we already had, and for that reason, I'm glad we paid for him. Let's just hope that included in his new deal is a requirement that he runs to first base. Grade: A-

Kerry Wood re-signing (1 Yr, $1.75M): On paper, this may look like throwing good money at bad money. We've been burned by Woody so many times in the last few seasons, it's hard to believe that he is going to be able to help us at all. But signing him to a one-year, incentive-laden deal is almost a no-lose situation. When you're going to have a payroll of $125 million, why not spend 1% of it on a guy who has proven to have overpowering stuff, is willing to pitch anywhere in the rotation or bullpen, and is reportedly throwing very well after spending much of the last two years on the DL? If he gets hurt again, we'll have no long contract to pay out and he can go on his merry way. Plus, GM Jim Hendry claims that he was offered twice what the Cubs gave him in base salary alone by other teams, and he chose to stick it out with the Cubs. He feels like he made a promise to the Cubs and hasn't fulfilled it, so he's giving up additional salary to do so. You have to like that in a player. This is a reasonable price to pay for a guy who is out to prove something. All that being said, I don't have any expectations for Woody in 2007. He just hasn't been able to do anything in the last three years, notching just 12 wins since 2003. It's a cheap gamble, but one with little chance of realizing the upside. Grade: B-

Mark DeRosa signing (3 Yrs, $13M): The Cubs signed the 9-year journeyman following a career year in 2006 (135 games played, 40 doubles, 13 HRs, and 74 RBI) after playing sparingly over the previous 8 seasons. I think the general view on this deal is that Mark DeRosa has had an uninspiring career as a utility sub (193 RBI in 9 years) and he parlayed one good year into a contract that may be a little above his value. In addition to the money, Mark DeRosa was excited to come to the North Side because he was offered the chance to be our everyday second baseman, after bouncing around between 6 different positions in his career. We have to think that this deal was made partially because the front office sees farmhand Ryan Theriot as a valuable bench player but not an everyday starter, and once-promising second-year shortstop/second baseman Ronny Cedeno is probably headed to the minors to start 2007. We needed a middle infielder who has experience and glove skills, and DeRosa fits the bill for a manageable price. The other positives in this deal are that DeRosa can adequately play several positions, making us flexible with substitutions and lineups, and he crushes left-handed pitching (to the tune of .342 last season), something that the Cubs desperately need. He is also known an excellent character guy and someone that is good in the clubhouse, a trait you can never have enough of. I think we probably paid too much for him, and he is certainly not going to set the world on fire, but he fills a need adequately and seems to be an excellent teammate. Grade: B

Wade Miller re-signing (1 Yr, $1.5M) This deal is similar to the Kerry Wood deal. We paid a cheap price for a pitcher who did nothing for us last year in the wake of a long rehab from injury (Miller made 5 starts and went 0-2 with a 4.57 ERA), but has been a winner in the past and may well still have some good seasons left in him. I think the front office wants to go into spring training with a surplus of pitching, expecting that at least some of our disabled list All-Stars will return to infirmary at some point in 2007. I think Wade Miller has good stuff (62-45 in his career) and could potentially be a sleeper as a valuable contributor this year. If the Cubs don't sign any frontline starters in free agency, you'd have to think he'll get a shot to make the rotation to start the year. This is purely a wait-and-see signing, with little risk because of the salary. I'm fine with it. Grade: B/B+

Henry Blanco re-signing (2 Yrs, $5.25M): Henry Blanco has been one our best backups over the last couple of years from a purely non-offensive standpoint. He manages the staff well, calls a great game, is very solid defensively (threw out 15 of 39 base-stealers last year and has thrown out 41.4% in his careers, second among active catchers) and seems to be well-liked by everyone. However, he will turn 36 next season and can't hit. He hit .266 last year, which was a career high, and included some awful slumps. We rewarded this offensive explosion last year (6 HRs, 37 RBI) with a two-year deal that will keep him in Chicago through his 37th birthday, with a mutual option for the 2009 season. I wish we could do more with the position of backup catcher, especially because Big Hank played in 74 games last year, suggesting that the position is a big part of our team. But you can't have everything, and a hitting backup catcher is simply too far down on our list. I think whether Henry Blanco, while by all accounts a great guy, just isn't worth almost $3M a year as a .225 career hitter. He's also getting old, especially for a catcher.

What really worries me about this deal is that it adds fuel to these nasty rumors about Michael Barrett being available in exchange for pitching help. I know we need pitching, but finding a catcher with the offensive abilities of Michael Barrett is rare at best and he is eminently affordable for us (in the last year of a 3 Yr, $12M deal). We have nobody else to provide pop at the bottom half of our order and I think it would be foolish to trade him. He's young, we got him off of the scrap heap, and we should take advantage of the oh-so-rare power-hitting position player with an attractive price tag. Please, Jim Hendry- don't trade Barrett for some middle-tier, 13-11 pitcher who will get killed when the wind is blowing out at Wrigley. Grade: B/B- (if Barrett is traded and Blanco starts, D/D-)

Neil Cotts for David Aardsma and Carlos Vasquez: I like this trade. I don't like the White Sox, but I'm glad our front office can get along with them. I never thought that David Aardsma truly got comfortable enough in a Cubs uniform to contribute anything, although at 24 he still has a lot of pitching left in him. Carlos Vasquez seems to have had a good but fairly unremarkable season in 2006 bouncing between A-ball and double-A ball, and I think that Neil Cotts is a guy who can come in and help right away. He can throw heat, he's left-handed, and can make a ton of appearances. He had a very bad second half last year, but it didn't seem to be pitching- or stuff-related, so let's hope he can get back to his 2005 form (4-0, 1.94 ERA in 69 appearances). One thing that worries me slightly is that it seems someone told him he may get a chance to start for the Cubs, which seems risky. Making the switch from the 'pen to the rotation has been an iffy proposition for Cubs pitchers in recent years, and yielded bad results. It's like going from TV to the movies- yes, it's theoretically possible, but I don't think you're going to see good results that often. I hope Cotts settles into a bullpen role, and doesn't end up as a cautionary tale for guys who think they can start. Grade: B+

...and the Main Event: Alfonso Soriano, 8 Yrs, $136M: Yesterday the Cubs made the biggest splash of the off-season by offering Alfonso Soriano one of the biggest contracts in baseball history. Everyone in the world has an opinion on this, and there are lots of valid reasons why you could go either way. Here are the biggest ones:

PROS

1) Say what you want about the terms, the Cubs went out and got the premiere position player in the free agent market. We sent a signal that we want to win, right now, and we're willing to spend to get the players we need to do so. And for Cubs fans, that's a refreshing change.

2) We are now contenders in a wide-open division. Peter Gammons makes a great point in his blog: almost all of the NL Central teams are retooling parts of their rosters, and the Cardinals have to be the least scary defending champs of all time. The Cubs still need a starter or two, but at this point, on paper, we have a great chance of getting to the top of the division next year. We certainly have the offense for it already.

3) We solved our leadoff problem, center field problem, and power outage all at once. JP gave us great speed and mediocre defense. Soriano replaces those things plus adds serious pop at the top of the lineup.

4) We're making the North Side a more attractive place for future free agents by showing a commitment to winning and a commitment to setting the market price for top tier players. That can go a long way.

5) The top half of our offense is now on par with any offense in the National League, period. Soriano is an .835 career OPS guy and when you put him in the lineup with Lee and Aramis, you're going to score runs.

CONS

1) The length and value of this deal is borderline crazy. We're going to be paying Soriano $17M when he's 37 and 38 years old, an age where power and speed are usually nowhere to be found. Buster Olney points out that when premiere players like A-Rod, Manny, or Derek Jeter signed analogous deals with their teams, they were 25, 28, and 26. Soriano will be 31 in January. It's a little late in his career for a team to be committing so many resources to him.

2) His 40-40 abilities are unbelievable, but it's hard to look at his stats and think he'll do as well next year. Soriano was clearly just going for that benchmark this year, as he was caught stealing a whopping 17 times against his 41 steals. Let's hope he is a little more judicious about his base-stealing in 2007, even if he totals fewer thefts.

3) He is a Sosa-Patterson style free swinger. Soriano hits bombs and gets around the bases with the best of them, but he's also stuck out at least 121 times per year in the last six years, and struck out a career-high 160 times in 2006. It's feast or famine with Soriano, and Cubs fans know that we need to build an offense around patience and on-base percentage, as opposed to the home-run derby teams we've tried to succeed with in recent seasons.

4) Although Soriano led the league in outfield assists last year, he is generally regarded as a below-average defender and only has one season in the outfield under his belt. We'll likely ask him to move positions again (from left field to center), and resign ourselves to a very, very mediocre defensive outfield next season.

It's too early, in my mind, to grade out this deal. We look like with a little help in the rotation, we could contend next year. Our lineup, right now, looks like this:

1) Alfonso Soriano, CF

2) Mark DeRosa, 2B

3) Derrek Lee, 1B

4) Aramis Ramirez, 3B

5) Jacque Jones, RF

6) Michael Barrett, C

7) Cesar Izturis, SS

8) Matt Murton, LF

If we make a play for a corner outfielder and put Murton on the bench, we're going to be even more powerful. I'm cautiously optimistic, if for no other reason than the Trib finally seems to get it: you need to make waves in the free agency market if you want the kind of success that breeds fan loyalty. They've had it too easy for too long with Cubs fans. We're too nice to them. Let's hope this is the beginning of an age of reciprocity.

All Hallow's Eve

Happy Halloween. I'm going out as this stud from the Arthurian Legends, and LongMan will be going as the man himself.

Let's all try to live by Treach and Vinnie's words tonight:

"I'm not into tricking; only treating.

And I'm not into treating every trick that I be meeting."

Have fun kids.

Here Kitty

Fun with Photoshop.

(via Deadspin)

Reminder: My friend Christine's book Why Smart Men Marry Smart Women is now out in stores and available for purchase. It's an interesting read and makes a great gift (unless you are buying a gift for Maureen Dowd). Christine suggests that you buy it online. They'll bring it right to your house. Now that's service.

Mrs. Offering

It's been (yet again) too long since I posted, but it's been a busy fall. I'm married now; TheGirl is officially Mrs. Offering. It was a fantastic celebration out in the hot, beautiful southwest. Quick recap:

-We hit Sin City from Tuesday to Friday before the Big Event, with a hard-partying posse of 3 (Tuesday at dinnertime) to 75 (Thursday night). Great times all around. We had people staying at virtually every hotel on the strip, we gambled, boozed, hit the clubs, had massive parties in our suites, and generally caused the kind of mayhem that you'd want to cause leading up to your wedding. The Bellagio kindly provided me with a Penthouse Suite which we put to good use Wednesday and Thursday night.

-Friday to Sunday we stayed at Entrada Country Club and golfed, drank, and visited with friends and family. Good times.

-Sunday night me and the missus stayed the Wynn Hotel and dined at Bobby Flay's Mesa Grill, which was just what the doctor ordered. The honeymoon is still TBD, but it's looking like Aruba toward the beginning of January.


Other news and notes:
1) The Hawks disappointed us yet again last week with a loss to a far inferior Indiana team...with a game looming at Michigan this Saturday, it looks to be yet another ho-hum season. I really thought this team had a chance to do something special this year (contend for a BCS game, finish in the top ten, etc.) but with all the injuries we've suffered and a stupid road loss, I'm guessing we'll finish 9-3 at best, and 8-4 is certainly not out of the question. I just wish that one time Iowa would beat all the teams it should beat. One time.

2) The Lou Pinella Era begins in Chicago- Jim Hendry signed Lou Pinella to manage the Cubs for the next three years, probably hoping that Lou's impatience will save his own job by swiping a division that should be up for grabs next year. Let's just hope that the front office understands that Lou will not be pitching or playing left field for the Cubs. We need players too, and a lot of them. On the bright side, though...

3) The Bears are unquestionably the best team in football. With a 5-0 start and a Monday night date with the sputtering Cardinals, the Bears are poised to romp through the NFC, grab that coveted No. 1 playoff seed, and hopefully shuffle their way to the Super Bowl. We're strong on D, fast on O, and have all the intangibles this year. What's even better than that? John Clayton says we're not going away for years. I agree.

Enjoy your week. I probably won't, as my wisdom teeth went bye-bye last week and I'm still pretty sore and on the applesauce and pity diet. More soon.

Reason #4,586 Why I Love Iowa Football

Senator John "Frank the Tank" Kerry celebrates the impending

Iowa victory over Iowa State at a Hawkeye tailgate

(via the Wizard of Odds)

Marriage and the Modern Adult

Today I'm going to shamelessly plug a soon-to-be-released book by a friend of mine for the following reasons:

1) The topic of the book, modern marriage, is highly relevant to my peer/age group (and specifically relevant to me personally, as I'm about to be legally bound to another person);

2) I think the topic of the book is frequently discussed, but, in my opinion, rarely in the proper context (which the book lends); and

3) The book is good and we want the author to move some product, and fast.

The book is called Why Smart Men Marry Smart Women, by Dr. Christine Whelan. Notice how the "Dr." part lends instant credibility? The book tackles the facts and issues surrounding the modern generation's view on marriage and how we've accepted that personal, professional, and educational goals have conflicted with (and ultimately begun to overcome) traditional norms on when and how we should pick our lifelong mates. You know how "30 is the new 21"? Well, that's a good thing and this book proves it.

The book is written by an insightful and accomplished author, weaves empirical data together with in-depth interviews with young people of varying attitudes and marital status, and presents a new perspective on the value of traditional norms and "marrying age". Good times.

You can check out the book's site, more on the author, or just take my work for it and go straight to pre-ordering it on Amazon.

If you are interested in social science and the evolution of societal trends surrounding marriage, you'll love this book. If you are a young man or woman who is despondant about their prospects because of your age, this book will give you hope. If your parents are on your case about settling down, this is the ammunition you need to belittle their stupid arguments. If you are a social leper who is incapable of contributing anything to a relationship, then you need much more help than this book will give you, but go ahead and buy it anyway. It's a start.

Plus, I can personally attest to the fact that Christine is about to climb the Mount Everest of marital relationships, so that should say something to you about the confidence she has in her own expertise on the subject. The least you can do is buy the book.

The book is going to be released by Simon and Schuster on October 17, 2006. I'm going to get my hands on a copy sometime between now and then, and I'll give it a (totally unbiased) review here.

Not-all-that-quick-hits: Forgive Me Edition

Hello, world. I haven't posted to this blog in many weeks, and I have a great many legitimate, ironclad excuses for such largesse that nobody would dare challenge. But why would you want to hear them, and why would I want to write them? I was very busy. I am sorry (to those few loyal readers who e-harass me to get on the ball). Here we go:

1) The aforementioned Lollapalooza review: I am not going to do an in-depth diatribe on the entire event, but suffice it to say that I really liked it and am glad it has a home in Chicago. They really fixed a lot of the problems from the 2005 edition, such as sound bleeding from stage to stage, but the result is that everything is much further away from everything else. So you have a lot of walking to do during the three-day marathon. Anyway, it was exhausting, educational, and lots of fun for people who like music.

Bands that stood out: Mates of State, My Morning Jacket, Flaming Lips, Gnarls Barkley, Wilco, Broken Social Scene.

Bands that I was disappointed by: Reverend Horton Heat, The Shins, Sleater-Kinney, Umphrey's McGee.

Bands I missed but wish I saw: Matisyahu, Cursive, Panic! At the Disco, The Raconteurs, Ween, Wolfmother, Feist, Calexico.

All the other bands I saw fit somewhere in between "pretty good" and "really good", but not worth mentioning. There were 130 bands there, so you really had to be remarkable one way or the other to get a shout out. For the record, I did not see the headliners for the most part: I caught a couple songs by DC4C, but missed Manu Chao, Kanye West and Red Hot Chili Peppers. No thanks.

2) Baseball season is no longer upon us: I consider the baseball season to be over when the Cubs are officially hopeless, which was sometime just before the All-Star break. I haven't been to a game since baseball fanatics Keefer and Jester came to visit me in August, and I stopped watching the games weeks ago. Since the squad is well on the way to the worst record in the national league, a last-place finish, and a dismal finishing month (we're 3-8 in September thus far), let me just throw out a few thoughts:

-Our front office lives in denial about the needs of the team and the abilities of the players we have, but at least they did a couple of things right, namely getting rid of Neifi Perez and Phil Nevin, and allowing Greg Maddux to choose his own fate in what is probably his last season. Getting Cesar Izturis may or may not prove to be a great move by the team, but Mad Dog deserves to finish his career on his own terms and was toiling for absolutely no reason in Chicago. Hats off to you, Mad Dog.

-I feel that, if Aramis chooses to stay next year (possible, but not probable), and we re-sign Juan Pierre (more likely, but not probable), our only positions that won't be set are left field and the pitching staff (I think that Izturis, Cedeno, Lee, Aramis, Barrett, JP, and Jones would be locks to start, unless we unloaded one of them in a trade). Which means that we would be targeting, first and foremost, starting pitching and a slugging outfielder in the off-season. Let's go after Zito and Carlos Lee aggressively and land one or both of them. This team is not going to get better internally. Pie isn't ready. Theriot isn't the every day answer. We need proven veterans with several seasons left in their bats and arms. Get a starter and a couple of big bats. Pay whatever it takes. Reward the fans.

-It goes without saying that this team had a listless, boring, incredibly, spectacularly unsuccessful 2006 campaign. It was different than the 2005 and 2004 campaigns, where we at least had a chance to grasp at a playoff spot later in the year. I IMPLORE the front office to learn from this season: the blind loyalty of your fans is an appalling reason to refuse to build a winner. Stop resting on your laurels and do something. Believe me when I tell you, Cubdom is frustrated, not just at the players, but with the management of this team as well. They'll probably always give you their money, but I really hope we start voting our dissatisfaction with this team by using our checkbooks. I wouldn't even consider going to a game right now, even if the tickets were free. I hope lots of other loyal, die-hard fans feel the same way.

-Something has to be done about the closer and back end of the rotation. I don't know what the answer is, but I expect one by spring training. Get. It. Done.

-I am not going to comment on the Dusty situation, because I strongly believe that we underperformed on the field this year. I wouldn't necessarily complain about cleaning house or retaining the coaching staff. I do worry that there aren't that many managers out there who have better resumes than Dusty (although my interest is peaked by Joe Girardi's ongoing feud with the Marlins ownership. You'd be welcome here, Joe.). Let me just say that I think Dusty is too easy on the players, which is probably why they love him so much. But I don't know how much better we can do.

3) Goodbye baseball, Heelllllooooooo, football: I love football season no matter what, but it couldn't have come fast enough as the Cubs went 11-17 in August and then 3-8 in September.

The Iowa Hawkeyes are currently ranked #16 in the AP poll after trouncing Montana in week 1 and pulling out a double-OT victory against pitiful Syracuse at the Carrier Dome last Saturday without the help of (ex-?) Heisman dark horse Drew Tate. I didn't preview the Hawks before the season started, but let me hit you with a quick rundown of this year's squad:

Offense: love the look of the offense this year, with just a couple exceptions. The line looks solid, with several returning starters, and newcomers Rafael Eubanks, who should improve with each game, and moose-sized Dace Richardson, who I expect big things from in the coming years. QB Drew Tate is a perennial Big Ten MVP candidate and his senior campaign will hopefully be the most memorable yet. Our backfield looks great with feature back Albert Young showing a smooth combination of vision and power, and Damian Sims providing a change of pace with the breakaway speed and explosiveness that AY doesn't quite have. All-Big Ten tight end Scott Chandler leads a young group of receivers, but I hope that Herb Grigsby and freshman speed burner Dominique Douglas will step up and fill the void that departing seniors Ed Hinkel and Clinton Solomon left us with. Overall, we're a little thin at WR and our line will improve with experience (especially at complicated blitz looks and overloading certain sides), but I expect this unit to really make strides during the season and provide more than enough firepower.

Defense: the defensive line was the most heralded unit on our entire team coming into the season, and they've showed so far that they deserve the praise. Led by Kenny Iwebema, Mitch King and Bryan Mattison, they are going to absolutely terrorize Big Ten backfields this year. Our new linebackers Matt Humpal and Mike Klinkenborg have impressed so far and while they don't yet have the ability to dominate games the way that Abdul Hodge and Chad Greenway did last year, I believe they have a chance to do so eventually. Returning starter Ed Miles moved to his more natural outside linebacker position this year so I expect increased productivity from him as well. We are breaking in two new corners this year in Adam Shada and Charles Godfrey, and they haven't re-written the record books yet. Godfrey is the biggest corner in the Big Ten, so my hope is that he is physical with receivers and gives our line a chance to get to the QB. Shada needs to work on his man cover skills and both corners should be getting some help from veteran safeties Marcus Paschel and Miguel Merrick. I expect the safeties to provide leadership on this defense and erase some mistakes that the new starters in front of them make. Late pass interference calls on the defense in the Syracuse game directly contributed to Syracuse coming back on us, and that needs to stop. Overall, we have the playmakers on this defense, they just need to correct mistakes and work on getting better each week.

This week we're gearing up for the annual battle with Iowa State and it is going to be a barn burner (and will be attended by yours truly). After sitting out with a strained oblique, it is becoming increasingly likely that Drew Tate will return to the field against the hated Cyclones and hopefully finish off a perfect non-conference season, something we have missed in recent years. If that happens, all eyes will be on the September 30 showdown in Iowa City with #1 Ohio State and their high-octane offense. If we can get by Iowa State and keep making improvements in all facets of the game, the sky is truly the limit for this Iowa team. The hallmark of the Ferentz era is that his teams get better and better as the season goes on. If that holds true, particularly with respect to the corners and receivers, the Hawks should once again ring in the new year at a top bowl game.

4) Speaking of September 30, the Big Day is quickly approaching. Soon-to-be Mrs. Public Offering is finalizing our arrangements for the 3-day blowout in Las Vegas prior to getting hitched in beautiful St. George, Utah. We're expecting about 150 of our closest friends and family and it should be a memorable event. I am getting pretty fired up, as we've been talking about it in general terms for years and in very specific terms for all of 2006, so I'd like to get on with it. The fact that we're going to be eating world class food, playing world class golf, roaming the Las Vegas Strip until the wee hours, and seeing long lost friends and family make it even more highly anticipated.

I just got back from Offering reader and lifelong friend Gate's wedding up in Macinac Island, MI, and it was one of the best weekends I can remember. Perfect weather, unbelievable scenery, lots of activities to do, a role in the wedding itself for me and my friends, and a couple that is crazy about being married. Very good times. I highly recommend Macinac to anyone who love quaint, New England-style vacation destinations. It's extremely difficult to get to, but worth every minute of travel. I can't say enough about it.

5) Yesterday was the five year anniversary of the September 11th attacks, and I won't comment on the politicizing of the memorials or lack thereof, other than to say that it didn't assuage my frustration with the current state of affairs, which seems to be a common sentiment. Also, September 11, 2001, will always be a memorable day because as I've blogged about before, I was (un?) lucky enough to be one of just a few civilians pitching into the emergency relief effort at the Pentagon.


Okay, that's a lot for now. I'll be more awesome about posting in the future.

T

My Fantasy

I'm joining a fantasy football league or two this year. I need a great name for my team. This is an open solicitation for names...please post in the comment section. You don't even need to suggest a full name, funny words or phrases are acceptable.

Sorry for the long layoff. As soon as I get a moment, I'm going to post a full review of the Lollapalooza 2006 experience.

T

Rants/Raves: Thin Air Edition

I spent 3 days and 3 nights in lovely Santa Fe, New Mexico last weekend. It was my maiden voyage there, and it was all it's cracked up to be. Let's check the scorecard:

Rave: Downtown and "the Square". Plenty of old hotels, restaurants, bars, and art galleries. We stayed in the charming Hotel St. Francis, right off the square, dined at the renowned Pasqual's Cafe, right across the street, had breakfast at the Atomic Grill, and wandered the streets all weekend.

Rant: Pricey, Pricey, Pricey. My initial take on Santa Fe as a town is that any sort of middle class is remarkably absent. It seems that you are either a working-class laborer, whether you're working in a restaurant, leading tours, or hawking blankets and jewelry (of which there is an endless supply), or you're a rich retiree that lives in Canyon Road, drives a sports car, and spends weekends on the slopes in Taos. I'd love to spend some serious time here, but I don't think I'll be able to afford to live in town for another 30 years.

Rave: Gorgeous scenery. The drive up from Albuquerque is through 50 miles of flat desert with mountains on either side, and Santa Fe is at the foothills. We rented a convertible so that we could enjoy the scenery, the desert sun, and smell nothing but wild sage as we cruised around the state. We also hiked the famous Tent Rocks national monument, which is a crazy natural formation about a half hour out of town on the Conchiti Indian Pueblo (in New Mexico, the term
"Pueblo" is used instead of the noticably less PC "Reservation").

Rant: High altitude. At 7,000 feet above sea level, Santa Fe is up there. Let me tell you, hangovers at a mile and half in the air are no joke. My oxygen-starved brain was hurting for the better part of the weekend. You have to either be in good shape or willing to stop after ten beers when you're on vacation in order to avoid suffering. I am neither.

Rave: Good friends. We were there for LuckyLiz's wedding, and spent the weekend with friends new and old. Very good times. It helped that TheGirl's crew all forgot their significant others, so I spend the weekend in the company of 4-6 pretty girls who asked nothing of me except for my charming wit, which I am always happy to provide.

This place is a keeper. People always half-joke, half-fantasize about living in Santa Fe, and I can see why. I'd like to get back there again sometime soon and do a little more in-depth visiting to see if I could really settle down there (it's on TheGirl's short list of dream locations), but so far, it makes the grade.

This weekend we've got quite a schedule in the hot, muggy, not-so-Windy City: LittleBro, GUnit, Schwarzky, and Blando Calrizian are all visiting and we're going to blow it out. Kegs, Cubs, pubs, clubs, and shrubs* are all on the itinerary. Hope you have a good one.

t

*-shrubs are not on the itinerary.

Waiting in Vain?

Loyal Cubs fan and Offering reader Gate sadly posed the question today: "Is it time to start talking about the Cubs 2007 team already?" At first glance, it seems that the answer is no; We're still 17 games away from the All-Star break, and 91 from the conclusion of the 2006 campaign. That's a lot of baseball. But let's look inside the numbers and find out if it's time for the "wait 'til next year conversation" yet:

Right now, the Cardinals are 42-28. That projects to a 97.2 win season. I think it's safe to assume that 97 wins will win the NL Central.

Right now, the Reds are in first in the NL wild card by 1.5 games at 39-34. That's a pretty bad wild card race (consider that the White Sox are leading the AL wild card at 46-25, and the Texas Rangers, in fourth place in the AL wild card, have an identical record to the Reds). The Reds' first place position right now projects to the wild-card winner winning 86.55 games. Now, I think that's unrealistic, so let's say that the wild card has to win about 91 games to get in (in the AL, it could be 100).

Right now, the Cubs are 28-43. They have 91 games to go. To win the Central, they would need to win 69 more games, or compile a record of 69-22 the rest of the way. That's a 76% win percentage. That means they would have to win every three-game series the rest of the season, sweep approximately every third series, and win at least 3 of 4 in the few four-game sets remaining.

As for the wild card, assuming they need 91 wins, that would translate to the Cubs needing a record of 63-28 the rest of the way. That's a 69.2% win percentage, which means they would have to win every series the rest of the year, sweep the two-gamers, and win 3 of 4 in every four-gamer.

In either scenario, they cannot lose a single series for the rest of the year unless they swept at least the next one, and cannot get swept unless they came back and swept the next two (in the case of the wild card) or three (in the case of the division, since they already needed to sweep at least one out of every three).

Okay then. Not realistic. So let's assume the best possible scenario. Let's assume that the National League will defy history, the wild card contenders will continue their current pace, and the last playoff spot from the NL will go to a team with 87 wins. That means the Cubs would need 59 wins to make it, or go 59-32 the rest of the way. That's a 65% win percentage, or right about two out of every three games. That means winning every series from here on out, with the possible margin of error of splitting, not losing, one two- or four- game series.

Now, let's look at the Cubs current progress. Since May 1, by the Unofficial Public Offering's Unofficial Count, they've won 5 series, lost 10 series, swept 0 series, been swept in 7 series, and split 1 series. Not good news if you need to go out and win the next 30 series in a row.

Here's the bottom line: to come back from this far back would be almost impossible for a good baseball team, much less a baseball team that's been swept in 7 of the last 15 series. Plus, to hit another bad slide would essentially drop their chances to zero, which, from where they are now, isn't far.

I think it's time for that conversation. The numbers don't lie. Sorry Gate.

Quick hits: Never Grow Up Edition

-I'm going to be 27 years old on Thursday, and I just spent $20 ordering this. Props to K-Rock for finding this on the internets, and for being the only person, once the item was found, to order it before me. TheGirl's reaction: "Please tell me you're kidding." I'm not proud of my immaturity. I don't hide it either.

-The Cubs have shown signs of improvement on offense and defense, and have won 3 in a row for the first time since April 23-25. I am rewarding them by attending tonight's game versus Andy Pettitte and the Astros.

-Dolph and I are throwing a joint birthday party on Saturday to celebrate our 27th year on this planet that will include this, this, and a journey downtown to see these guys. Birthdays are fun, but I actually prefer other people's birthdays to my own...probably because I like reasons to celebrate, and celebration itself, but not all the attention. Sharing parties is therefore a good idea for me. Happy birthday, Dolph.

- Get Well Soon, Big Ben. But once you are completely recovered, I'd like to slap you in your newly-repaired head. The fact that this guy is a 24-year old Super Bowl Champion quarterback with a limitless future, and still chooses to ride racing bikes without a helmet, after being repeatedly told by many not to do so, tells me that he should have that head examined while it's getting stitched up. You did a stupid thing, Ben. You were lucky. Don't do it again. And stop saying on national television that you don't think riding without a helmet is risky. In fact, you may have just annointed yourself the new national spokesman for helmet safety.

-Memo to USA Soccer: if you're trying to get the sports-loving public in America to be interested and supportive of your sport, embarrassing yourselves on a world stage isn't the way to do it. After looking anemic and timid in a 3-0 loss to the Czech Republic, there is only one (semi-realistic) option: beat Ghana, draw Italy, and pray to whomever you pray to that 4 points gets you out of pool play. With the goal differential already favoring the Italians, however, even this scenario probably spells doom for the Americans.

Man, it's perfect weather in Chicago this week. Get out there and use it.

Reunited

I was in beautiful Middlebury, Vermont this past weekend for my 5-year college reunion. It was quite a celebration although it poured rain the entire time.

This was my first post-school trip down memory lane...I missed my 5 year high school reunion. It sounds kind of lame, but it really makes you take stock of your life when you get the 2-minute version of a hundred other people's lives in the span of 2 days.

Part of the benefit of going to a true liberal arts college is that you end up with a lot of people doing a lot of interesting things post-college...Middlebury really prides itself on being an "anti-trade" school. You therefore get fewer accountants, yes-men, and lackeys at huge firms. As a lackey at a large firm though, I suppose we're not immune.

A sampling of my closest friends includes doctors, lawyers, writers, construction managers, poets, pharmaceutical reps, museum curators, graduate students, musicians, finance wizards, talent agents, lab scientists, computer geeks, politicians, and many, many other strange and fun-to-hear-about jobs. A lot of my friends left their professions chosen out of college (many of them in the financial world) recently to follow aspirations they've always had but felt were impractical. I applaud that. Some of them (me included) have found different ways to include each other in their new careers. Good stuff.

The other notable thing that the weekend left me with is that there are lots of kinds of friends in life: those you lose touch with, those you weren't close to in the first place, those you stay in touch with and keep in your life forever, and those that you don't necessarily keep in close touch with, but don't need to in order to know that you'll always be tight.

It's the last kind that make me glad I made the trip, because not keeping in close touch with those people means you need to be reminded sometimes. It was great to see everyone last weekend.

More later this week.

Rock Bottom

Greg Maddux takes his fifth loss in May

to finish 0-5 with an ERA of 7.81.

How can you say that the Cubs aren't the worst team in the National League right now? We are a staggering 5-18 in the month of May. We've won one series all month (2-1 against the Nationals May 16-18), had an 8-game losing streak, a four-game losing streak, a three-game losing streak, and are currently working on another one (after today's loss, it stands at three games).

How bad, exactly, are the Cubs? Let's check the numbers:

HITTING
-Worst in the NL in hits, third worst in all of baseball
-Worst in the NL in runs, second worst in all of baseball
-Worst in the NL in batting average, second worst in all of baseball
-Worst in the NL in RBI, second worst in all of baseball
-Worst in the NL in walks, third worst in all of baseball
-Worst in the NL in home runs, second worst in all of baseball
-Worst in all of baseball in on-base percentage, arguably the most important offensive stat
-Worst in all of baseball in slugging percentage
-Worst in all of baseball in OPS
-Worst in all of baseball in doubles

PITCHING
-Third worst ERA in the NL, 24th of 30 in all of baseball
-Fourth fewest saves in all of baseball (3 behind last place)
-Fourth most home runs given up in all of baseball (5 behind leader)
-Most walks given up in all of baseball

You can check sortable stats by team here.

Our defense is fairly average (in the middle of the pack in fielding percentage, errors, double plays, etc) and our baserunning is pretty spotty but not really to blame for our slide.

And of course, the most important stats of all: The Cubs are 18-28, 10 games below .500, 12.5 games out of the division lead, and own the third-worst record in the NL, ahead of Washington and Pittsburgh. After starting the year 12-7. Fantastic.


Here's what the Cubs need to do (and I'm not watching their games any more until I see some improvement):

1) STOP. WALKING. BATTERS. We walked 9 today.
2) Start hitting the ball. Be patient and stop trying to turn the month around with one swing.
3) Get the top of the order going. Juan Pierre and Ronny Cedeno are hitting miserably right now. Let's get our hottest hitters early in the lineup. How about Jacque Jones in the 2 hole?
4) Starters need to keep pitch counts down. It's hard to stay in games when your exhausted bullpen is pitching by the fourth inning.
5) Stay out of the big inning. Today the Marlins scored 5 runs in one inning, all with two outs. Inexcusable.
6) Wake up. Everything I see and hear out of this team tells me they are in a baseball coma. Get there early, eat a big lunch, perform a seance, get a new bat, whatever it takes. Start over. Get rid of your superstitions. Start acting like you're being paid MILLIONS AND MILLIONS OF DOLLARS TO WIN GAMES. Let's try to get something going before DLee, Prior, and Miller are ready to go.

I love this team, but I'm almost through with them.


UPDATE: The Cubs are also last in the NL in batting average with runners in scoring position, a critical stat when you are struggling offensively. Individually, Juan Pierre is second to last with a .111 average (3-27).

Quick Hits: Yo' Momma Edition

*Happy belated Mother's Day to all the moms out there. I hope you did something relaxing on the big day this past Sunday...for my mom, it usually involves a long bike ride, dinner someplace where she doesn't have to cook, and Letterman.

Mother's Day is probably the most important of the Hallmark holidays (although I don't particularly subscribe to them) because moms are usually the most underappreciated in a family. Never has a day gone by in the last 28 years when my mom hasn't made a sacrifice for one of her kids. Putting your kids before yourself is what being a parent is all about...after all, having a child makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist. It's what you do with it once you have it that counts. Happy Mother's Day, mom.

*I was on the road last weekend in Utah and Las Vegas testing out several venues for TheBigDay in September. Big Ups to all of them:

The Wynn Hotel: Although I'll be staying at the Bellagio in September, I'll be spending time at the Wynn every time I visit Vegas. Great rooms, great light show out back at night, lots of fun to be had at Lure and Tryst, and plenty of table games for all. Auto shuffle on the $15 blackjack tables is bush league though. Believe me, I lose my money plenty fast when you have to shuffle.

Bear's Best: We're playing golf before the rehearsal dinner at this course, and it is pretty fabulous. Located 11 miles west of the strip, it is a combination of Jack Nicklaus's 18 best-designed holes in the western part of North America. Really a fun and difficult course. I didn't play too well there, but I birdied the 537-yard par-5 17th with a monster 280-yard three-wood from the fairway to the back of the green and a routine two-putt.

Entrada Golf Club at Snow Canyon: Where all of the magic is happening...golf, ceremony, pictures, and reception. TheDad stayed at the Inn, we ate at the clubhouse, and played the course. It passed all tests. Entrada is one of my all-time favorite golf courses, especially holes 15 through 18, when you're playing in the lava beds...it's like playing on the moon. The course is a Johnny Miller design managed by Troon Golf, so the course is in impeccable shape.

*The Cubs took 2 of three from the Nats this week, but Woody got rung up for 5 runs in five innings in his first start since last July. It's a long road back from shoulder and knee injuries, but we need every win right now and today didn't help. Nothing we can do but look forward to the first of two inter-city series with the hated White Sox, kicking off tomorrow afternoon.

*The uproar over hazing by the Northwestern University women's soccer team continues. I think this whole thing is much ado about nothing. News flash to all you PC Hazing Police: hazing occurs on every campus, for every sports team and every social group worth joining. Sometimes it goes too far and people get hurt or humiliated. But almost all of the time, as in the case at Northwestern, nobody was forced to do anything. Here's another bolt of wisdom: college underclassmen like getting dressed up with their teammates and drinking beers and engaging in team-building activities (even if they include R-rated skits, writing on each other, etc). I was hazed in college for both my athletic team and social institution. Some stuff I didn't like. 90% of it was really fun and purely to bring me closer to my teammates or pledge class. And it worked. Some of my fondest memories from college involve rites of initiation.

Jason Whitlock makes a great point about the Northwestern scandal in today's column: Why aren't we seeing this as gender equity? People have looked the other way for decades when fraternities and male sports teams engage in hazing involving drinking, writing on each other, sexuality, and subversion to their athletic female counterparts. Now that women are getting in on it, people are going crazy. Why isn't this okay as long as nobody on the Northwestern team complains? Look at the pictures for yourself. Does it look like these girls are being made to participate against their will? Or does it look like they are having a great time having a few drinks, ruining their white t-shirts, and running around scantily clad to the boy's soccer house? It's college. These girls are athletes at one of the most pretigious colleges in the nation. They obviously have shown that they can handle the rigors of Big 10 athletics while attending school in a demanding academic setting. Maybe we should let them take the freshman out and initiate them into the club for an evening without suspending the entire team and embarrassing them on a national stage.

*The Da Vinci Code is getting torn a new one as it debuts in Cannes and is reviewed in most major publications. Frankly, I'm not surprised. I was not impressed with the book and don't expect to be by the movie, when I catch it on HBO in a year.

*This weekend I am going to short game school to refine the most inconsistent part of my game. Gamblers in my foursome beware: when I master the tricks of Dave Pelz's trade, I will be a remorseless scoring machine. Also, BigBro and LittleBro will be in for the weekend, so we'll break in my new digs with a soiree on Saturday as a warm-up to the official housewarming to take place on Saturday of Memorial Day weekend.

Let's get a couple wins this weekend, Cubbies.
T

Maybe I'm Craaaaaaaazzzzzzzy...

New music alert (for those that are saavy with the internets, you've heard a lot of the buzz already):

DJ Danger Mouse and Cee-Lo (of Goodie Mob fame) combined to form Gnarls Barkley and have just released their first album, St. Elsewhere. It's one part hip-hop, one part R&B, one part electronica with a dash of soul. I checked it out over the weekend and really liked it.

The first single is "Crazy", (you can download it here) which is a catchy one, but there are lots of others on the album that are sure to rock your party. Go get it.

Props to LongMan for pointing out this album to me. When I break in the new facility with multiple parties this month, St. Elsewhere will definitely be in the rotation. Whoo-hoo!


UPDATE: Check out Ray LaMontagne's cover of Crazy if you like acoustic grooves. TheGirl really likes Ray LaMontagne and Ray did a good job (and quickly, too) with this song.

Big Ups to MusicMatt for finding this cover and letting me know. He is always mining the internets for new music and frequently comes up with good stuff.

UPDATE: If you're a do-it-yourselfer, like Me and LongMan, you can check the Gnarls Barkley tabs here and a discussion and some ideas on the Ray LaMontagne tabs here. Looks like Ray plays it in a different key than Cee-Lo sings it, but it's not hard either way.

Quick hits: Long Layoff Edition

Hello out there...sorry for the extended layoff. It's been a busy month, what with the beginning of the Cubs season, a big relocation, and lots of stuff at work. But the spring has sprung in Chiacago and I have a lot to look forward to in the coming weeks and months. Here we go:

1) The Cubs Suck: We're in mired in a 7-game losing streak right now, starting with the finale of the homestand on May 2 and including an 0-6 road trip out west so far. We're finding all sorts of ways to lose, but the common thread is no offense. We've scored 8 runs in the last 7 games, including 5 games when we've scored zero or one run. We simply can't get anything going on offense. We're also careless on the base paths (Jacque Jones), can't hit cutoff men (Juan Pierre), and our rotation is struggling too. I don't know what the solution is. I suppose we have to just wait until DLee, Woody, Prior, and Miller return to the active roster. Woody has sparkled in his rehab starts, and looks to be ready to go after one more minor league outing. What can I say? It's the same, disappointing swoon, just a different year. Offering correspondant GRide returned from the first part of his Cubs road trip without seeing a victory. Not good.

2) I've Relocated: Last week I finally bit the bullet and moved in with TheGirl; we'll be living in sin until the end of September when I make it against the law for her to sleep with other men. We moved into the hip Southport Corridor, which is teeming with bars, restaurants, and other fun stuff to do. The residents of my neighborhood are much older than my previous spot, but it's just as lively and I've really been pleasantly surprised. The nightlife surrounding my new place is much better than before, we're still close to public transportation, and we're closer to Wrigley Field. Our new place is spacious, light, and well-appointed. I had a lot of reservations about moving in with TheGirl (never lived with a significant other before), but I'm happy with the new digs. I'm breaking it in on May 20th when my brothers visit Chicago and we have a small gathering, and our official housewarming party is Saturday of Memorial Day weekend. Should be a rager.

3) Iran: Apparently the diplomatic letter sent to the Man In Charge wasn't all it was cracked up to be. Not surprising. All I've heard from the government in Tehran makes me think that they are not capable of rational discourse, but very capable of making life difficult for us and our allies if we are aggressive toward their sovereignty. That's called a rock and a hard place. Let's hope that cooler heads prevail (in the US, Iran, and Israel) and we don't end up trying to turn Tehran into a parking lot and ending up with two quagmires in the middle east. One is enough.

4) Bonds Is One Away from the Babe: And he is getting exactly what he deserves. I don't think anyone would take the opportunity to break a hallowed baseball record if it came at the price he is paying. He'll live the rest of his life with the cloud of a cheater hanging over his head, and he'll never be able to blame anyone but himself (although he's adept at trying). I really hope he doesn't hit 714 or 715 against the Cubs this weekend, but you have to think that there is an excellent chance with the way things are going for the Cubs these days.

5) Vegas, Baby: I'm heading to Vegas the day after tomorrow for a long weekend with TheGirl, TheDad, and TheInLaws. It should be a blast...we're test-driving our rehearsal dinner spot on Thursday night, staying at the Wynn Hotel, and playing some golf at two world-renowned golf courses. What's not to love? I'm looking forward to getting back out there (haven't been since Thanksgiving) and enjoying the bright lights of Sin City and the red rocks of Utah all in the same weekend.

Have a great week everyone.
T

On the Road with the Chicago Cubs

Good friend, Offering regular, diehard Cubs fan and permanent Phoenix resident GRide is attempting to see the Cubs in every west coast venue to which they travel this year. He is recording the journey with photos and commentary on an MLB blog that you can view here.

Check in there to see pictures and hear stories of ballparks that we Cubs fans don't get to visit very often. It's easy to post comments there too, all you need is an ID from MLB.com. If you bought tickets to any game this year through an official team website, you already have an ID. If you want to get one, you can get one easily (and free, of course) here.

Since the NL West is clearly inferior to the Central, let's hope GRide sees lots of wins out there.

The Cubs ended the Marlins series with a strange and sloppy loss yesterday, but we're looking to rebound this weekend against an up-and-coming Brewers team. I'll be in the bleachers tomorrow to supervise a series-opening win. Hope your week is going swimmingly.

T

Nothin' but Nets

Hello world. Today I am giving a shout-out to a great new charitable venture by Sports Illustrated, a magazine and institution that I grew up with and still read daily. The magazine's Nothing but Net program is encouraging anyone who ever used a net to play a sport to donate to the U.N. Foundation, which will use the proceeds to purchase insecticide-treated nets for African families to fight the spread of malaria.

Rick Reilly wrote an interesting column to solicit donations for the program, which tells of the terrible spread of malaria (it kills 3,000 African children per day) and how preventable the disease can be (these nets can reduce the spread of the disease by 60%, last up to four years, and some can cover a family of four).

These nets cost between $4-$6 to purchase, and about $10 total to buy them and ship them where they need to go. 100% of your donation goes to the purchase of nets, as Ted Turner's original $1 billion donation to the U.N. Foundation covers all overhead costs. As U.N. Foundation Director of Children's Health Andrea Gay said, "every cent will go to nets." That means you will send one net for every $10 you donate. It's a simple, easy solution to an epidemic problem.

Bill and Melinda Gates have already purchased one net for every single bed in the country of Zambia. I hope you will join me and many others in sending some desperately needed, inexpensive nets to a place where they will do a lot more good than you can imagine.

To donate, simply go to the U.N. Foundation's malaria site or call 202-887-9040. Rick Reilly and the folks over at SI are asking for $20 from anyone who ever got a thrill from kicking a ball into a net, protecting a net as a goalie, or draining a long three at the buzzer, but I think any donation is acceptable. Start small if you'd like.

Reilly donated $20,000 because he estimated that he's used the word net 20,000 times in his columns over the years. Since I don't have a similar metric, I'm going to start by donating all of the proceeds from my very successful NCAA tournament pool season this year (which I won by correctly picking who was going to be cutting down nets in the Final Four). I plan to donate more in the near future.

Thanks in advance for your help with the effort. Have a great week. If you're going to see the Cubs tonight or Friday, I'll see you at Wrigley.

T

FF + DC4C = Neato

Last night I saw Franz Ferdinand and Death Cab for Cutie at the Aragon Ballroom. It was fun. I went with a large group of people with varying levels of experience with both bands; the newbies and the old hats both seemed to like the show a great deal. DCFC was definitely worlds better than their last show in Chicago, which pretty much put me to sleep.

Franz Ferdinand was good- they are a little formulaic in their catalog, a problem I also identify with similar bands like the Strokes and the Killers. Obviously, their songs differ a lot, but in their live show the subtle differences often aren't obvious. The star of their show is clearly drummer Paul Thompson, who was given room to extend songs as well as leading several percussion solos/jams. I thought that singer Alexander Kapranos was good and had a lot of personality, but not very precise in his notes and had a bit too much of the dark "indie-whine" found on many Interpol tracks.

Death Cab was great. They came out and started slow with Passenger Seat and Different Names for the Same Thing. Ben Gibbard's voice was very clear in a usually muddy acoustic setting like the Aragon. Then they got things rocking a little more with The New Year, Why'd You Want to Live Here, Photobooth, A Movie Script Ending, and a loud rendition of We Looked Like Giants with Ben Gibbard on the drums. The closer was Sound of Settling. Overall, they mixed the old stuff with the new stuff, playing a couple off of We Have the Facts and at least one off of the Forbidden Love EP (I don't have the full setlist). The encore was predictably slow- I Will Follow You Into the Dark and Transatlanticism. Overall, the energy was much better than last time, and the crowd was really into it. Death Cab has redeemed themselves for me, and have earned at least one more show in Chicago. Franz Ferdinand probably doesn't have quite enough for me to see them by themselves, but were worth getting there early for.

Highlights: We Looked Like Giants, A Movie Script Ending, Transatlanticism

Notable Absences (IMHO): Tiny Vessels, Death of an Interior Decorator, Marching Bands of Manhatten, I was a Kaleidoscope, Blacking Out the Friction.

This weekend is definitely going to be a Fritaturday. I don't know how many more of these I can handle.

Mother Nature is Upset

Multiple tornados and severe thunderstorms hit the hometown of the Offering last night, causing widespread damage and destruction last night. The governer has declared a state of emergency and state and local officials are trying to clean up the mess as quickly as possible. The students at the University of Iowa reacted as expected, by going out in the wreckage and partying.

My home was very lucky- no damage and the power/water/utilities are all going strong. It appears that the worst is over, but more bad weather is expected late Saturday night and early Sunday morning.

This is the worst possible time for my family, as TheSister is scheduled to get married tomorrow in Iowa City, and we have 130 people arriving in Iowa City during the day today for festivities beginning at 6:00. Obviously, this is not the time to think of such things, but it appears that nobody was killed.

Keep the good people of Iowa City in your thoughts this weekend. I'm heading there in about an hour, so I'll post an update after the weekend.

T

Lord Stanley's Pimp Cup

That, my friends, is how Lil' Jon rolls.

R.I.P. Deshaun Holton (aka Proof)

Deshaun Holton, better known as Proof from Eminem's Detroit-based group D12, was shot and killed early Tuesday morning at the CCC Club in Detroit, Michigan. Proof was a founding member of D12 (as well as many other groups with Detroit MCs), Eminem's best friend, and a father of five.

Proof was one of the driving forces behind Detroit becoming a hotbed for hip-hop innovation, as he grew up performing at all manner of venues, welcomed artists of all kinds into his studio, and was on a never-ending quest to find the next big thing. He hosted and participated in countless rap battles, including at the famous Hip-Hop Shop, and was known as one of the most thoughtful and clever improvisational rappers to come out of Detroit.

Proof was always my favorite member of D12, mostly because I liked his low voice and laid back rhyming style. He heavily influenced Eminem's raps, was a frequent consultant for his concerts, and was always the first member of D12 to be picked to go on tour with Eminem. He released one solo album on his label Iron Fist Records, the introspective Searching for Jerry Garcia, and was featured on D12 albums Devil's Night and D12 World.

I'm sure that Proof fans are sad and angry over yet another needless tragedy, especially as D12 was trying to bury feuds with other Detroit rappers. It's an eerie coincidence that Proof was shot and killed in Eminem's recent video, called Like Toy Soldiers, which was about ending this kind of violence. I hope that this will lead to other artists speaking out against violence for the sake of violence, but I'm not terribly optimistic.

Proof was 32 years old.

Clean Sweep (and a Tradition unlike any other)

It was a fantastic weekend. I attended my first Cubs game of the year last night, and got to see Michael Barrett and Jacque Jones (both pictured above) power the Cubs to an 8-4 victory over the Cardinals and wrap up a three-game sweep of our hated division rivals. Jacque Jones got his first hit as a Cub and first hit of the season in the fourth when he blasted a three-run homer to dead center with the Cubs down 2-0, and then Michael Barrett took advantage of a Jason Isringhausen fastball in the 8th inning in grand fashion after the Cards bullpen walked the bases loaded.

It was nice to see Michael Barrett have such a good weekend (he delivered the crucial game-tying homer on Saturday as well), as his home in Atlanta was severely damaged by a tornado. But according to Barrett, it was the best baseball weekend of his life.

The golf season also got underway on Sunday, as I swung the wrenches for the first time in 2006 (1 birdie, five pars, and pretty ugly at times) and Phil Mickleson won the Masters for the second time. It's Phil's second consecutive major victory and third overall, and it looks like he has finally decided to become the dominant force that golf fans have been expecting for over a decade. After winning by 13 strokes last week, Phil showed the world that he is ready to meet the lofty expectations that come with winning three of the last nine majors.

After checking out a brand new bar, getting out the clubs for a new golf season, taking in the Masters, and supervising a crowd of 40,000 during our first sweep of the year, I'd have to say that this past weekend happened exactly how I drew it up. Next weekend looks to be even better as I head back to Iowa for TheSister's wedding, which prominently involves salsa bands, extended family, cocktails, and my monkey suit. Have a good week and if you're in the windy city, get out there and enjoy the sunshine.

T

The Face of Tragedy

Pictured above is the scene of a horrific car accident in Germany (courtesy of Danimal). The depiction of the carnage, and the few survivors scattered among the broken bodies, is a graphic and profound image. I know it's difficult to look at a picture like this, but I hope, as we begin the weekend, that each of us realizes how lucky we are and how fast we can lose everything. I don't usually like to post sentimental thoughts on Fridays, as I don't believe that weekends are the time to dwell on the serious side of life, but this picture really struck a chord with me.

As we count our blessings, let's make sure that we enjoy every day as if it is our last. This weekend, that involves cheering on the Cubs as they open Wrigley Field for 2006 with a three-gamer against the hated Cardinals, trying to get out on the links for the first round of golf of the year, and watching closely to see if anyone can stop Tiger at Augusta.

Have a great weekend everybody. T

The Shame of Being a Dukie

I am a lifelong Duke hater. I hate their smug attitude, I hate the basketball superstars that have played there over the years, I hate the well-known but seldom talked-about racial tension in the town because of Duke's reputation as a southern school for Yankees, I hate the students' sense of entitlement, especially becuase they are usually just the valedictorians of mediocre New Jersey high schools with wealthy parents.

I base this opinion on real life experience: I went to a snotty east coast college too, and I've worked in DC, Boston, and Chicago in a litany of legal and political jobs; I've therefore run into more than my fair share of Duke students and grads. With a couple of notable exceptions, I find that Duke stereotypes are fairly well justified.

Because of my bad attitude about Duke, I usually like it when they get bad press and otherwise look like jerks in front of the rest of the nation. But I am disgusted and appalled by the recent scandal involving the alleged gang rape of two exotic dancers at a Duke lacrosse party, which has led the coach to resign and the rest of the season to be cancelled.

The circumstantial evidence appears to be very strong; medical tests on the alleged victims are consistent with sexual assault and according to documents published by The Smoking Gun, signs of a struggle were found in the bathroom where the alleged assaults occured.

Today, a previously sealed warrant was unsealed and detailed numerous other pieces of evidence on the events at the party, including an email sent by a member of the lacrosse team, Ryan McFadyen, just after the party in question that talked about killing and mutilating strippers in his dorm room the next night.

This is repulsive enough as it is. But what makes it worse is the racial undertones of the entire scandal. The exotic dancers that were allegedly raped and beaten at the party were African-American; all of the lacrosse players are white except one (who has been ruled out of suspicion, as the dancers said that their attackers were white). The alleged victims claim that they were subject to racist abuse, both verbal and physical, throughout the ordeal. The fact that this may have been, at least in part, racially motivated speaks to the amount of blind hate that exists in the prestigious corridors of Durham.


An aside: I don't know if it's a coincidence that the lacrosse team at the snotty east coast college where I attended was comprised of the most chauvinistic, meatheaded, jerks on campus. They always were the most physically confrontational, especially when drunk (they terrorized a good friend of mine after he testified to seeing them mercilessly beat another kid on a Saturday night), aggressive toward women, and in general awful people. I'm not arguing that all lacrosse players are hyper-aggressive rapists, in fact, I know several that are great people, but I do think that lacrosse is a sport that only permeates the higher socioeconomic classes (boarding schools on the east coast in particular) and rewards naked aggression. When you combine a fiercely loyal bunch of kids (such as those on their own at a boarding school), a sense of entitlement that comes from being rich, and a sport that encourages aggression and physicality, I think you get a higher incidence of events like those that allegedly transpired at Duke and the many, many incidents I witnessed at my alma mater. I played rugby and belonged to a social organization that drew from many sports teams, extracurricular organizations, socioeconomic classes, and backgrounds, and nobody that I associated with was a fan of lacrosse players. Maybe I harbor prejudice against these guys because of what I saw in college, but I don't think it's a coincidence that the swim team or the track team wasn't accused of these foul events at Duke.

Let's hope that if a sexual assault, hate crime, or both did indeed occur, those responsible fry for it.

Opening Day 2006: Success

Happy Opening Day everyone. The Cubs start their 2006 campaign today in Cincinnati as Big Z gets the nod against Aaron Harang and the Reds. None of the experts picked the Cubs to do much damage, but we didn't get any props in 2003 either, and we should have been in the World Series that year.

I'm still optimistic. Baseball is probably the most fun season of the year, because of the length, the fact that your team plays almost every day, and it spans the best weather of the year in the midwest. Some people are even saying that 2006 will be the greatest baseball season ever. I'm not making any predictions that are so lofty, but I am very much looking forward to seeing how the NL Central, and the league at large, play out.

For now, go Cubs. Let's make this year a memorable one.



UPDATE: 16 runs on 18 hits and 7 walks for the Cubs today as they defeat the Reds handily, 16-7. The offense was better than we thought, the defense good, the pitching a little inconsistent, but the Cubs got the job done and the season started on the right foot. Day off Tuesday, and then back at it versus the Reds again Wednesday.

My Amsterdam Bachelor Party

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And Thus Endeth the Iowa Season

The Iowa Hawkeyes fell victim to the biggest upset of the tourney so far, falling to Northwestern State 64-63 on a long three-pointer at the buzzer.

Now, a lot of people are going to talk about how this shouldn't tarnish a great 25-win season, a Big Ten Tournament title, and a season that our seniors can be proud of. But you know what? It does.

Say what you want about conference record, RPI, or however else you measure success in college basketball- all that matters is where you get seeded in the Big Dance, and how far you are able to go. And for the second year in a row, Iowa got beat in the first round.

A lot of people are also going to express sympathy for our seniors, in particular Jeff Horner and Greg Brunner, because they went out on a sad and disappointing note. Those guys were great players and represented the Hawkeyes really well for four years, but I have zero sympathy for them. Here's why:

This. Team. Choked. This was one of the worst of many epic choke jobs that Steve Alford-led teams author the minute any sort of pressure is applied. Consider the following:

1) We had a 17 point lead on a #14 seed with a little less than 8 and a half minutes to play. They went on a 27-9 run to win the game. That is a collapse of almost indescribable proportions. There is no excuse for allowing your opponent to come back like that, especially when you pride yourself on your defense. None.

2) Our senior center, Erek Hansen, went 2/4 with 1 offensive rebound and 5 turnovers.

3) Jeff Horner was 4-13 from the field, including 1-7 from downtown. That just isn't going to get the job done.

4) We got 7 points on 1-4 shooting from our bench.

5) We turned the ball over 18 times.

6) Northwestern State managed to shoot the ball at a 38% clip and still beat us.

7) Greg Brunner missed a free throw with 14 seconds to go that would have put us up by 3.

All of this leads me to a couple of, in my view, inescapable conclusions. They are hard to swallow, but even as a person who lives and dies with the success of the Hawkeyes, we have to be honest here. They are:

1) Steve Alford is, simply put, a loser. It took him 5 years at Iowa to author a .500 season in the Big Ten (Tom Davis never had a sub-.500 year, ever.). He has won precisely 1 NCAA tournament game in 7 seasons at Iowa. He has gotten beat by inferior teams the last two years in the first round, both played fairly close to home.

2) This team is composed of post-season choke artists. We haven't gone on a post-season run in the Alford era, and it's not just in the NCAAs either. Remember when we got beat by St. Louis University in the first round of the NIT a few years ago? We just can't perform in a one-and-done situation.

3) We desperately need to shake up our program and recruiting. We are not going to get Iowans like Brunner and Horner on a regular basis, and right now, we're not effectively recruiting anywhere else. Time to get a new coaching staff and a new attitude in our program. For tips, call Kirk Ferentz.

4) Time to start laying blame where it belongs. Lack of preparation and mentality is on the coach. Lack of poise and odd absence of fundamentals in crunch time is on the players.

Thanks to our seniors. Horner and Brunner had great careers at Iowa, and I believe they will be remembered for their entire body of work, not just today's game. But no excuses: they were beaten by an inferior team because they couldn't hold a 17-point lead for 8 minutes.

That's a tough thought to ponder on the way back to Iowa City, and for the rest of the off-season. See you guys next year.


Happy St. Patrick's Day, everyone. Be proud of your Irish heritage, I know I am.

t