Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Bears: Season in Review


The sting of the shocking playoff loss to the Carolina Panthers has subsided enough to post my season in review for the Pride and Joy of Illinois. Although it ended in terrible fashion, we have a lot to be proud of and a lot to look forward to.

Highlights: NFC North Champions, 11-5 regular season record, 5-1 divisional record, #2 Seed and Week 1 bye in the 2006 Playoffs, 6 Pro Bowl Selections.

Lowlights: Week 3 loss to Bengals (5 INTs), Week 4 loss to Browns, Opening Day loss to Redskins, Rex Grossman's preseason injury, and playoff loss to Carolina.

Things to look forward to in 2006: Every defensive starter is signed through at least 2006 except Hunter Hillenmeyer (and we can match any offer for him), Rex Grossman's progress through a healthy off-season, the return of Mark Bradley to the receiving corps, adding depth on offense in the draft, and every other NFC North team starting over with a new head coach next season. We should be the prohibitive favorites in the division in 2006.

2006 Prediction: You can see our opponents, although not the exact schedule, here. We only play one tough road game next year, at Foxboro against the Patriots. Other than that, it's just the divisional games, the Cardinals, the Rams, the Jets, and a mystery NFC East team. The home schedule is soft too, with the Bills, 49ers, Dolphins, and an NFC South team coming to Soldier Field. The toughest game at home should be the Seahawks. I'm going to predict another 11-5 season, which will win the division and get us a home playoff game once again. It's the first time in a while that I have felt genuinely optimistic this early about our chances to be an elite NFC team in the coming season. It's a good feeling.

THE 2005 PUBLIC OFFERING AWARDS SECTION:

The Walter Payton Award for the Most Valuable Player: Brian Urlacher. The NFL's Defensive MVP, the heart and soul of the best defense in football, and an off-the-field leader. He is a fast, remorseless tackling machine who plays the game with hate in his heart. Nothing more needs to be said.

The Jonathan Quinn Award for the Least Valuable Player: Kyle Orton. I know he is a rookie, but we don't factor in experience at the Offering, just performance. Lowest QB rating in the NFL, abysmal TD/INT ratio, absolutely no pocket presence, terribly inaccurate, and he made our offense one-dimensional at best and utterly anemic at worst. People need to realize that we won in spite of Orton, not because of him. Around here, you get zero points for "managing games" and "avoiding killer mistakes". In basketball, you don't praise centers for not missing dunks, and in baseball, you don't praise pitchers for not beaning hitters. Because it's part of the job. Honorable mention to Cedric Benson, for his holdout and lack of production.

The Willie Parker Award for Most Pleasant Surprise: Tie, between Tommie Harris and Nate "The Interceptor" Vasher. We knew both of these guys were good, but we didn't know that they were "best in the conference" good. Nobody is a bigger disruption up front than Tommie Harris, and he makes it impossible to double-team our great defensive ends. And besides authoring the longest play in NFL history this year, Nate Vasher quite simply intercepts everything thrown his way. They have to hold him down on the sidelines during pre-game so he doesn't go out there and intercept the coin flip. Honorable mention to Thomas Jones, who had a great year despite facing 8 in the box on every play.

The Ryan Leaf Award for Least Pleasant Surprise: Mushin Muhammed. I realize that he didn't have a great situation coming into this year, with Orton at the helm and facing a lot of double teams, but 4 TDs while coming in second in the league in dropped passes? That's not acceptable. Moose, we're thrilled to have you in Chicago and that won't change. But you're better than that, and we need to see it.

The Reese Morgan Award for Best Assistant Coach: Ron Riveria. He runs the best, most efficient, most opportunistic defense in the NFL, and he almost always finds a way.

The Ryan Hansen Award for Best Special Teams/Role Player: Brendon Ayanbadejo. Our special teams missile was around the ball all year and while you may not know him, he made a huge contribution in an underrated phase of the game. Brad Maynard was in contention until he absolutely laid a turd in the playoffs. Shanked punts of 13 and 19 yards when we were already losing the field position game? Inexcusable.

The Chad Hutchinson "Don't Let the Door Hit Your Ass on the Way Out" Award: Bobby Wade. This man did nothing for us except hand the ball to the other team. I'd let him stick around to carry Urlacher's jock, but he'd probably fumble it three times. Good riddance.

The Dick Butkus "You're in the United States of the Chicago Bears and our Chief Export is Pain" Award: Lance Briggs. This man decleated people at every possible opportunity and played at a Pro Bowl level all year long. He is the Pain Train, and opposing running backs had first class tickets on the express each and every week.

The Terrell Owens Ass Clown of the Year Award: Tie between Olin Kreutz and Fred Miller. I know it wasn't a big deal, but to get drunk at an FBI shooting range, pop off some of the hardware, and then get into a fistfight than lands one of you on the DL is a little much for in-season antics. We don't need that. Honorable mention to Cedric Benson for holding out through training camp and then complaining about playing time.

The Vince Lombardi Best Coaching Decision of the Year Award: To Lovie Smith for the gameplan in the Week 11 Carolina game and the Week 15 Falcons game. Both must win games, both very difficult matchups, and both utilized masterful coaching.

The Mike Martz Worst Coaching Decision of the Year Award: Also to Lovie Smith, for insisting on using Charles Tillman and Chris Thompson to cover Steve Smith in the playoff game. His rationale? "Our corners cover a side, not a receiver." When an opposing receiver has 100 yards in the first quarter in a playoff game, it's time to change the rules. Nate Vasher can intercept a receiver's mouthguard before it gets into his mouth. Use your best players to make the toughest plays.

The Britney Spears "Used to Be Hot" Award: Mike Green. Lost his job to a rookie, didn't perform well when he got another chance, and in general, is our fourth best safety on his good days. 2001-2002 seems like a long time ago.

The Maria Sharapova Rookie of the Year Award: Maria Sharapova is in her rookie year of consenting age, and Chris Harris is the Offering's Rookie of the Year on the Bears. Instinctive, hard-hitting, lots of upside, takes losses hard, and in general is a great contributor. His breakout game was his 8 tackle, two INT, two pass breakup performance at Green Bay. Welcome to the show, kid. We're happy to have you.

The Mike Ditka Bear Down Chicago Bears Award: This award goes to the player that most epitomizes the Chicago Bear attitude, both on the field and off, and is the player that I would want to represent this franchise for any reason. This year, it goes to Mike Brown and Brian Urlacher. These two guys play hurt, demand nothing less than a supreme effort from all their teammates, hit hard, provide energy and leadership, and aren't afraid to take responsibility for how the team performs. They are my Bears of the Year. We're lucky to have them both, despite some injury problems over the last couple of seasons. When you play as hard as they do, you get hurt. Brian Urlacher is the best overall defender in the league right now, and when Brown is healthy, there isn't a better all-around safety.

Time to close the door on the 2005 season. It was a great one and I'm proud to be a Bears fan.

And now, without further ado...Go Cubs. It's our year.

t

1 comment:

The Count Del Monte said...

I have to say I am thrilled and honored to be a part of such a distinguished award presentation. Although I didn't follow much of the NFL season (my niners are still a disgrace) I was glad to see the Bears do well. Pissed they lost to Jason Baker and the Panthers. Guess I'll cheer for the Steelers from now on, since they kinda look like the Hawks.