And Thus Beginneth the Madness

The Hawks returned to Iowa City last night after finishing a victorious run in the Big Ten tournament by beating Ohio State 67-60 in the final and claiming the first tournament championship since 2001. By finishing the year with three straight wins in the tournament, the Hawks ran their record to 25-8 to go along with the tournament trophy.

While that's a big story in Hawkland, it also propelled them to a #3 seed in the Atlanta bracket of the NCAA tournament, which pits them against #14 seed Northwestern State (La.) in Auburn Hills, Michigan on Friday.

Overall, I'm pleased with the seed that Iowa received, but we sure got a tough draw. Check out the full breakdown and analysis of the Atlanta region here. We'll likely have to beat a battle-tested West Virginia team to come out of the Auburn Hills sub-regional, and then we'll likely have Texas and Duke in the regional semi-final and final. So there's a lot standing in the way of our road to the Final Four.

A few more NCAA tourney notes:

1) I'm a little surprised that GW, with only a couple of losses, got an 8 seed. That's good news for those that think they can upset Duke and blow the Atlanta region wide open, but I consider an 8 seed to be a little bit low for a team that went 14-0 in conference play and won 26 games.

2) Biggest snubs, according to the Offering: Missouri State (21 RPI in a tough conference), Michigan (Big Ten deserved 7 bids), and Cincinnati (deserved an at-large after going .500 in an exceptional Big East and then losing their conference tourney game on a last-second Gerry McNamara three-ball).

3) Easiest Region: My early feeling is that the Oakland region is the most wide-open. I think the top 4 seeds are beatable, and anyone down to a 5 or 6 seed could come out of that bracket.

4) Dark Horse Final Four Picks: Here's one team from each region that didn't garner a high seed, but I think could surprise people: Pittsburgh (Oakland), West Virginia (Atlanta), Michigan State (D.C.), and Georgetown (Minneapolis).

5) Bracket tips: When filling out your office pool bracket, remember that of the 32 first-round games, the lower seed will win approximately 1/4 of those games. To put a finer point on it, in the 5-12 matchups in the first round, the 5 seed is only 11-9 over the last 20 such games. And when you're torn between two teams, go with the one with better guard play and free throw shooting as a team. Those two traits are magnified in the Big Dance.

I haven't done my usual thorough analysis on each of the regions yet, but I'll post some Final Four thoughts later in the week when I post the picks for the head-to-head blog-off with the Sofa King. The annual Confidence Pool is for money as well as dignity, so when I put up our chosen teams, I'll also make some predictions about who will be cutting down nets in Indianapolis.

Here's a good printable bracket.

Hope you're enjoying the Madness.
T

Fritaturday Eve

Hello everyone in the entire world. Apologies for the lack of content this week, but I tried to post a rather sizeable entry on Tuesday and a mechanical failure made me lose it. My frustration with Blogger.com caused me to wait until now. But I shouldn't bite the hand that hosts my website for free, so I'll hold my tongue now.

Anyhoo, a few quick hits from the week that is/was:

1) R.I.P. Kirby Puckett. He was a great player, with 10 All-Star appearances in 12 seasons, over 2,000 hits, a lifetime .318 batting average, and two trips to the playoffs, each of which netted him a World Series ring. The Sofa King will tell you that he was a different person off the field, but baseball people love him and he was the face of the Twins for over a decade.

2) R.I.P., what was left of Barry Bonds' reputation. Personally, I've never liked Barry Bonds. I hate his smug, disdainful attitude toward the media and the public, I hate his me-first attitude, I hate he uses his family to gain sympathy, I hate his sense of entitlement, and I hate how a person who was perfectly situated to have a Michael Jordan-esque relationship with baseball fans continually chose to be a whiny, sulking, angry child at every possible opportunity.

Now it looks like the new book Game of Shadows is going to blow the doors off Bonds' systematic cheating and shed light on how he has been a human pharmaceutical experiment since 1998, when his jealousy of Mark McGwire's home run chase led him to start taking all manner of steroids and illegal substances. Sports Illustrated excerpted some relevant passages from the book this week, and they certainly get down to all the dirty details.

The authors of the book, Mark Fainaru-Wada and Lance Williams, are journalists of impeccable credibility that are respected in the sports world. I sincerely hope this book causes Barry Bonds to retire immediately, and in shame. I don't want him breaking Babe Ruth's record, but mostly I don't want him breaking Hank Aaron's record, so I'd be happy if he retired short of 755.

3) It's Championship Week! The Big Ten Tournament kicked off in Indianapolis today, with Minnesota, Penn State, and Michigan State moving out of the first round. The Beloved will host Minnesota Friday at 5:40 local time, and I'll be in a rowdy sports bar cheering them on. With a win, Iowa will play the winner of the Illinois-Michigan State game on Saturday just after noon local time for a shot at the semi-finals. After that, it'll be time to strap on the dancin' shoes. Iowa is looking like a solid #5 seed right now, and a run in the Big Ten Tournament will likely move them up to #4. This is a fun time of year when your team actually has a chance to do some damage in these tournaments.

4) The UAE port deal seems to have caused a rift in the GOP before it imploded today. G-Dub promised to veto any legislation blocking the deal, while congressional Republicans and Democrats promised to pass such legislation with an overwhelming majority anyway, thus forcing the Prez to explain to the American people why he was overriding the legislature's wishes to sell our ports to an Arab country known to support terrorism. That'd be a tough sell considering what comes out of the White House regarding the war on terror. I'm not certain this deal would have put our country at risk (federal and state authorities still would have handled security for the ports), but I suppose maybe this is a better-safe-than-sorry situation. It's interesting that in an election year, GOP congressmen are all too eager to defy the President when their constituencies are concerned about something like port security. These elections are going to be fun to watch.

5) Box office receipts are down 8% last year. I attribute this to higher-quality home theater systems, ease and availability of pay-per-view and digitally transmitted films to the home, general economic downturn, and rising costs of seeing movies. Personally, I have invested a ton of money in my television, DVD collection, and sound system at home, but I love to go to the movies. I like real laugh tracks at comedies, I like seeing all films on the big screen, and while you don't necessarily talk during the movies, I still consider it a social event. I hope that going to movies doesn't become a thing of the past.

6) Speaking of movies, I watched the Oscars last weekend and enjoyed Jon Stewart very much. Also, I was very glad to see Phillip Seymour Hoffman win Best Actor and Ang Lee win Best Director. Everything else was not important to me. I think the Crash-Brokeback Best Picture controversey was much ado about nothing. Even if it was a homophobic bias in the Academy, so what? Brokeback probably got more publicity because of the scandal allegations. And it already set an all-time record for buzz about a movie anyway. Don't worry, activists for gay rights: everyone in the nation has already been innundated with stories about Brokeback Mountain. It's a really good film, and it is and has been recognized as such.

Other Oscar notes: Most Beautiful Woman there was (no surprise here) Jessica Alba. Honorable mentions go to Nicole Kidman, Keira Knightley and Salma Hayek. Michelle Williams sure cleans up well too. Best pregnancy/post-pregnancy rack goes to Jennifer Garner, with honorable mention to Rachel Weisz.

7) Now this is an exercise trend that I fully support.

8) Glad to see that the NFL finally worked out its labor troubles and we will continue to have lockout-free football in the fall. It's good to know that rich, spoiled, selfish athletes can come to an agreement with richer, more spoiled, and more selfish owners over how they are going to split the billions of dollars they make each year by selling tickets to games for $85 each and authentic jerseys for $250. You guys are truly the model of the charitable, philanthropic human spirit.

Go Hawks tomorrow. If I don't get a chance to post before the end of the day, have a great weekend. t

You make me laugh, Dwight Schrute.

Although I was a huge fan of the BBC version of The Office, I have also come around on the NBC remake. Anyway, Dwight Schrute, a character on the NBC show (who is based on Gareth Keenan from the BBC version and played by Rainn Wilson), writes a blog on the show's official site.

Some of the entries are outstanding, especially if you know a little bit about the characters Dwight and Gareth. You can check out his blog here.

Dwight covers a variety of topics on his blog, but some of my favorites are:

Sleet: "Here in Scranton it is 46 degrees and SLEETY. I love sleet. It's so bracing. It's not snow (wimpy) or rain (annoying). It's sleet. It's its own thing. Sleet is the most unappreciated type of weather. This winter, let's all try and have a deeper respect for sleet and what it does and what it is."

The Epiglotis: "Think about the way the throat and swallowing works. The epiglotis decides what goes where down the trachea and/or esophogus. But it gets no respect. This tiny flap of skin in your neck decides if something is food or air. The food goes to your tummy. The air goes to your lungs. Without it your food would go straight into your lungs and clog them up. You'd have soup in your lungs. Or a sandwich. Or doritos. Or Fresca. OR you would get air in your tummy and be a big gassy fart bag all the time. All that from the tiny, powerful epiglotis.
In many ways, I am like the epiglotis. Small, unappreciated, not well thought of or respected, but POWERFUL. So powerful that without me you'd have food in your lungs."

And the current entry is a teaser for Dwight's new book about the world of sales, co-written by his beet-selling cousin Mose. It's called SELL THIS!: How to Literally Kill the Competition, By Dwight and Mose Schrute.**

That's comedy. I may start "borrowing" some of his blogisms around here, because sometimes my funny just isn't as funny as Dwight's funny.

Hang in there. It's almost Friday.
T

**Completely off-topic note: I HATE how our society has collectively forgotten how to use the word "literally". To most people, "literally" now means "figuratively" or "if you can believe it". The joke about the above fictional book is that title, correctly interpreted, implies that the book teaches you to kill people, not beat them in sales. Dwight is therefore making the same mistake that most people (at least, around me) make; he means "figuratively" killing the competition.

The other week I was at a bar and a young lady was talking about how she "literally" had to push a co-worker out the window to get them to do something, and was "literally" having to beat people over the head to finish a task. Unless you are actually committing assault and murder in your workplace, you weren't "literally" doing those things. You were "figuratively" doing them. Here's an easy guide to use of the word "literal":

Step 1) If you didn't actually, in reality, do, think, or say the contents of your sentence immediately following the word "literal" or "literally", you are using the word incorrectly. In that case, proceed to Step 2. If you did, and in fact you are expressing factual events, then feel free to express them as they "literally" happened.

Step 2) Don't use the word "literal" or "literally", jackass. Use a) nothing at all, and just let the sarcasm be implied (as in "I was going to kill him!" as opposed to "I was going to literally kill him!"), or b) skip the "literally", finish your thought, and say "figuratively speaking of course" or some such similar caveat (if you feel that nobody will pick up your facetiousness).

Here's the point: people use "literally" nowadays as "figuratively" or a modifier to emphasize their point, as opposed to using it to distinguish actual events from figurative speech. Don't. Don't say "I literally thought my head was going to explode" unless, at the time, your cognitive process was "I am so angry that I am gravely concerned that my cranium is going to spontaneously combust, resulting in my immediate death." Because if that thought didn't run through your mind, you didn't "literally" think your head was going to explode.

Dwight gets it. The rest of you don't.

A Few Quickies for Hump Day

Hello world. The week is flying by, as usual. A few quickies for you on this lovely Wednesday:

1) Death Cab covered Freety Johnston's Bad Reputation a while back. It's a good tune, you can download it here. [Insert standard disclaimer about downloading music in this space]

2) As a corollary, check out the Sofa King's recommendation on good tools for music posted on blogs. The blogosphere has quite a lot of good music out there.

3) Finally, I'm going to see some music tonight myself. I'll be checking out the Fray, who is managed by a good friend of mine JDI.

4) Bird flu is rearing its ugly head once again. I'm not worried. I hardly ever eat raw birds.

5) This labor dispute in the NFL is starting to grate on me. As I understand it, the stalemate is over revenue sharing with players; the union is at 60% and the owners are at 56.2%. Split the difference and let's move on.

6) I love IMDB. And I love this guy's IMDB picture even more. But most of all, I love this movie. It stars Mike Norris (Chuck's son), Chad McQueen (Steve's son), and Don Swayze (Swazyehorse's brother). And it's called Death Ring. The joke pretty much writes itself.
(via daily links)

7) Wow, Takanami in Iowa City is good. I had some Kobe steak there last weekend, along with about a dozen other things. And speaking of Iowa City, here's a fun article about a good way to spend the weekend there from the NY Times travel people.

That's all for now. Hope your week is just spectacular.

T

Your 2006 Chicago Cubs

Well, our full squad is pretty much in attendance at Spring Training, and I am very excited to see the boys get back to work. We have some issues with the World Baseball Classic, where we're sending several key players, but everyone else is in Arizona ready to prepare for the 2006 campaign. With that, let's get to the Public Offering's 2006 Preview:

Preseason Award Picks and projected stats for 2006:
MVP: Derrek Lee (.317, 41 HR, 114 RBI)
MIP: Matt Murton (.293, 11 HR, 68 RBI, 19 SB)
Most Valuable Pitcher: Carlos Zambrano (20-6, 3.42 ERA)
Most Valuable Defensive Player: Jacque Jones
Most Valuable Newcomer: Juan Pierre (.298 Avg., .376 OBP, 42 SB, 104 runs)

And here is how your 2006 Cubs grade out by off-season moves and potential:

Starting Pitching: This is the biggest question mark on the team. Right now, we're looking at starting Mark Prior, Carlos Zambrano, Greg Maddux, Glendon Rusch, and Jerome Williams. That's obviously going to change, as Kerry Wood gets healthy and off-season acquisition Wade Miller gets finished with his rehab. This could be the most dominant starting unit in the league, or it could struggle with injury and consistency issues. If we get 60 starts from Prior and Wood, we'll have no problems at all from the starters.
Off-season improvement: Marginal (Wade Miller)
Pre-season Grade: B/B+

Bullpen: The Cubs addressed a young, inconsistent bullpen first in the off-season by spending about $25 million on veteran relievers Scott Eyre and Bobby Howry. These two pitchers should add stability to the middle relief corps. With Ryan Dempster closing out games and the rest of the bullpen likely including Michael Wuertz, Will Ohman, Roberto Novoa, and Scott Williamson (With Rich Hill, Jon Koronka, and Todd Wellemeyer waiting in the wings), we should have a much stronger bullpen than last year. It also remains to be seen whether Kerry Wood helps out in relief as well. If Woody stays in the pen, he'll give us some great short relief innings. If he starts, you can count on Rusch or Williams coming from the rotation to help out this bullpen even more. I think we finally have the personnel that we need to protect late leads. In fact, our pen is probably more stable than the rotation right now.
Off-season improvement: Substantial (Eyre, Howry, and maturing of younger pitchers)
Pre-season Grade: A-

Outfield: Our outfield looks completely different than a year ago. We went out and signed Jacque Jones from Minnesota and Juan Pierre from Florida to replace the outgoing Corey Patterson and Jeromy Burnitz in center and right field, and farmhand Matt Murton will get a chance to start the year as an every day player in left. I like Murton a lot; he is still young but has shown the ability to hit to all fields, likes to run the bases, and does the little things. As for Pierre and Jones, I think we got one of the most hard-working leadoff men in the game (Pierre) and a great all-around player who is underrated because of a bad year in 2005 (Jones). I'm concerned that we don't have a good throwing arm in the outfield and we don't have a lot of power either, but our infielders hit a lot of home runs and we certainly gained a lot of ground in speed, defensive skill, baserunning ability, contact hitting, and character. All three outfielders are superb in the clubhouse and should really help team chemistry. The top of our lineup is going to give some teams problems, especially teams that have pitchers who don't like throwing from the stretch, and it should give our big bats a lot of opportunities. I'm very excited to see how this outfield gels and covers the smallish outfield at the Friendly Confines.
Off-season Improvement: Substantial, borderline outstanding
Pre-season Offensive Grade: B+
Pre-season Defensive Grade: A-

Infield: This is where the front office failed to make any substantial moves in the off-season. After letting Nomar Garciaparra go, the Cubs re-signed Neifi Perez and Jerry Hairston, picked up Todd Walker's option, and penciled in farmhand Ronny Cedeno as the everyday shortstop. The Cubs made a run at Rafael Furcal and couldn't pay him what the Dodgers offered, so we pretty much left our infield alone. I like Todd Walker at second base (especially for a paltry $2.5 million), and I think that Ronny Cedeno is a bit of a risk because he is so young and inexperenced, but I liked what I saw last year and he had a great off-season playing in South America. Jerry Hairston will probably play some outfield as well as infield, and Neifi Perez will be Cedeno's primary backup at shortstop. At the corners, we have our two big bats: Derrek Lee and Aramis Ramirez. I expect both to have 30+ home run and 100+ RBI seasons, especially with our newfound speedsters batting ahead of them in the order. Both are slated to play in the WBC, which I suppose is okay, but I am worried about Aramis and his continued struggles with leg injuries. Aramis has improved immensely over the last season on defense, and Derrek Lee remains arguably the best defensive first baseman in the game. Our catchers are also both playing in the WBC, and that hurts our ability to really get a good relationship going with the new pitchers during Spring Training, which is the most critical time to cement pitcher-catcher communication and teamwork. In any case, I like Michael Barrett's bat but am concerned that our superstar pitchers have increasingly requested that backup Henry Blanco catch them...let's hope that Barrett is developing his ability to call games so that we don't have to trade offense for defense. Blanco is one of the best minds in the game, so I hope that Barrett can learn from him over the course of the year.
Off-Season Improvement: Marginal to none (Cedeno's improvement in winter ball)
Pre-season Offensive Grade: A-
Pre-season Defensive Grade: B+

Bench: Our reserves have quietly improved a lot over the off-season. We signed utilityman John Mabry from St. Louis, and extended a non-roster Spring Training invitation to Marquis Grissom, who is highly likely to make the team coming out of camp. Our five regular bench players will probably be Blanco, Mabry, Hairston, Perez, and Grissom, with star farmhand Felix Pie possibly entering the mix sometime into the season. That means that every one of our regulars are major league veterans and most can play more than one position. We should be experienced and versatile on the bench, and Dusty likes to use all of his players, so he should have a lot of options. Look for Perez to start at shortstop once a week, and don't be surprised to see Hairston in left, right, or second and Grissom starting against some left-handed pitchers. I think this bench could really contribute a lot.
Off-season Improvement: Substantial (Grissom and Mabry)
Pre-season Defensive Grade: A-
Pre-season Offensive Grade: B/B-


OVERALL: This is a very, very different Cubs team than the last two years for three principal reasons: 1) we have a chance to have a stable, healthy rotation. Woody is supposed to be ready to go in mid-April, and everyone else is on pace to start the year; 2) we're no longer going to be a home run dependant, feast-or-famine offense. We are going to hit fewer home runs this year, but will have much better totals in batting average, stolen bases, hit-and-run opportunities, successful sacrifices, and probably runs scored. I really like our small ball lineup, and I think it will allow Dusty to take more calculated risks as opposed to standing around hoping for a big home run; and 3) we finally have a deep, experienced bullpen that is full of players who know their roles. We aren't converting anyone to a position they've never played this year, we aren't using three or four guys who just got brought up from AAA, and we paid for top-flight relievers who fill a specific need.

That being said, we absolutely have to improve on the base paths, fielding the ball, and hitting for contact this year to have any chance at a division title or a playoff berth. We are fortunate that our divisional rivals (Houston and St. Louis) did not make great strides in the off-seaon, but with Milwaukee and Pittsburgh getting better, few games will be handed to the Cubs. We have lost more games in the last two seasons than I can count because we fail to do the little things- hit the cutoff man, mental mistakes on the base paths, not legging out extra base hits, pitchers failing to cover first base, throwing errors, etc, etc, etc. We have to become a more fundamentally sound team if we are going to contend this year.

We also need to be healthy, especially in the pitching staff, but that's something that doesn't warrant much further analysis. Prior and Wood have to keep their arms healthy, Rusch can't break down if we need him to start for the whole season, our aging bullpen guys have to be able to give us 70 or so appearances, and Maddux can't show his age. It's that simple.

I like this team. I like the clubhouse dynamic, I like that the players love playing for Dusty, and I like our potential. If we stay healthy, I'm thinking we win about 94-96 games, which likely will be enough for the division title.

Tentative first game at Wrigley Field this year for the Offering is either April 8 or 9th, the weekend of the home-opening series against the hated Redbirds. Target number of games to be attended, as usual, is 25 games- an ambitious yet realistic goal. I've been within a couple of that number each of the last two years.

Hope to see you at Wrigley.
Go Cubs.

R'n'R, and Fun with Pictures

Hello world. Weekend was good. Some rants and raves from the weekend that was:

Raves:

1) Ate food here on Friday, then had drinks here. Both were fun. The Whiskey is a little bit touristy by virtue of the Rush St. location, but it has a good staff, spacious chairs and couches in the back of the bar, and floor-to-ceiling windows for people-watching inside and out. Good times. Props to TheDad for staying up and boozing after the opera.

2) Saturday was a bar crawl with a pre-crawl gathering hosted by the Offering. Very good times. Catering thoughtfully provided by Sharky and we definitely got our money's worth out of the bar crawl.

3) Bought the Sin City Special Edition DVD. Simply one of the best DVDs ever released. First, the extended cut of the movie has all four subplots separated out into 4 distinct films instead of one long movie such as the one released in theaters. Additionally, there are two director commentaries, a "green-screen only" version of the movie (with no special effects), audio tracks of the audience reaction at the premiere of the film (so you can watch it as if you are at the premiere), the "long take" of Quentin Tarentino's scene, and much, much, much more. If you love movies, get this DVD. It has everything you could want to know about the project that was Sin City.

Rants:

1) Bar lines. The Valentine's Day bar crawl that we attended Saturday was way, way too overcrowded. When you arrive at 8:01 for an 8:00 bar crawl and there is a 200 person line at each of the bars involved, that's too many people. Bar1Events- get this figured out.

2) Movie hype. I finally saw Brokeback Mountain this weekend. It was good. Quite good, actually. A sad story that included many subtle performances. The hype surrounding this film, however, lessened the experience for me. All this talk about how Brokeback sets a new standard for romantic films and dwarfs all other attempts at portraying forbidden love was, in my opinion, not warranted. I thought it was very well done and tackled some difficult subject matter, but I don't see how it was a pivotal moment in drama film history, as a lot of the hype implied. If you want to read more from a Brokeback groupie, check out Screwsan's comments.

3) The Winter Olympics. Michelle Kwan withdrawing, several training accidents, Bode Miller started off with a fifth place finish in the downhill and then choked the combined...could we be less interested? There aren't enough storylines, there aren't enough famous stars, and we just don't take to these winter sports. Go U.S.A. I guess.

4) The Pro Bowl. Dear NFL, Nobody Cares. Nobody. Sincerely, Tim. As Peter King wrote, "It's the most irrelevant game in sports." Also, three of the six Bears elected to the game skipped out on it. The players don't even care.

And now, a Current Events edition of Fun with Pictures:

1) First and foremost, the SI Swimsuit Issue is out this week, which is something that the Offering always looks forward to, even in this age of Maxim, Playboy, and the internets. This year features an all-star cast of past cover girls, and it does not disappoint.

If you don't know, now you know- this is what it looks like when you arrive in heaven:



2) Dick Cheney shot a guy! The VP plugged Austin attorney Harry Whittington while on a hunting trip in Texas over the weekend with a 28-gauge shotgun. Even more amusing, the White House Press Corps has been raking Scott McClellan over the coals for the long-delayed release of the news. Right now the White House is saying that the VP's office left it up to the owner of the ranch where the incident happened to issue a release. Not credible. Anyway, here is a good pic of the VP himself handling the steel:

UPDATE: Apparently, the shooting victim has had a minor heart attack because some of the pellets are lodged in his heart. Seriously, Dick Cheney is Aaron Burr.

3) Sammy Sosa is claiming that he won't "beg for a job" just to get to 600 homers before he retires. He has been offered a $500,000 non-guaranteed contract by the Nationals, but probably won't take it because he won't be handed a spot on the major league team. That's understandable, considering he missed 60 games last year due to injury, hit .221, still managed to strike out 84 times despite missing almost half the year, hit an impressive 14 home runs in 380 ABs, and was paid $17,875,000 for his trouble. This guy is the worst kind of player: self-absorbed, astronomical sense of entitlement, absolutely no production or accountability, standoff-ish, and my personal favorite: he forgets how to speak a word of English every single time he gets asked a difficult question, whether by a reporter, member of Congress, or teammate. This guy speaks perfect English. He's been in the major leagues, doing press conferences, public appearances, and otherwise being completely immersed in American culture since 1989. And he was here before he was a major-leaguer. My contempt for Sammy Sosa knows no bounds. Anyway, here is a great picture of him (via deadspin):



That's all for today. This week is very busy with work and some friends in from out of town, and then TheGirl travels to Arizona this weekend, which usually means a Fritaturday is in sight.

More soon.
T

Update: Singing a different (car)toon

I wanted to post a brief update on this ridiculous cartoon fiasco that has enraged the Muslim world and set off international political shockwaves in the last few days. I touched on it yesterday, but here are some new developments that paint a clearer picture of what actually is happening:

1) Apparently, these cartoons have been in print since September of 2005; the recent reprinting of the images in various EU countries is what sparked the current fiasco. There have also been rumors of Muslim clerics in Denmark adding more inflammatory images to the set of cartoons that they sent to colleagues in predominantly Muslim countries.

2) Now, Iranian newspapers are getting revenge by holding a contest for cartoons depicting the Holocaust as well as crimes committed by America and Israel.

3) Condi Rice and the President are biting back at Syria and Iran for intentionally stoking the anger of their citizens as well as refusing to protect embassies in their countries that have been attacked by protesters. Some Muslim leaders have joined in as well to urge non-violence.

4) A French newspaper has reprinted the controversial images in a plea for a free press, much to the chagrin of President Chirac. The Muslim world, it is safe to say, is not happy about this recent development.

5) Finally, the Danish newspaper that started it all is offering to publish the Holocaust cartoons that the Iranian newspaper is soliciting in response to the Muhammed cartoons.

Meanwhile, Muslim nations are boycotting Danish products, taking Danish imports off the shelves, and trying to cut off all economic activity with Denmark. That is not going to help the already tenuous trading and economic situation between the EU and some of these countries.

Stay tuned. This probably isn't over yet.

Waylaid

Hello Offering faithful. Sorry for the long layoff, but things have been hectic in the last couple of weeks and I have not had the chance to keep the masses entertained for quite some time. I will take the increasing rudeness and impatience of your emails urging me to update this page as a compliment. I'm glad to see that this blog has become a regular party of your obviously irregular lives.

Time is still short, so let's just do a quick 2-week layoff catchup:

*Last weekend was a bit slow, with the troops never really putting forth a stellar effort either Friday or Saturday. I saw Rigoletto at the Lyric Opera on Friday; it was quite good but I thought it left a little be desired. The words in Verdi operas seem a little overcooked to me, and I thought the Duke of Mantua didn't have quite a big enough voice. I would have liked to see Pavarotti in that role in his prime.

*Super Bowl Extra Large turned out to be Super Bowl Extra Lame on Sunday afternoon. I had a subdued group of 18 or so at my bachelor palace, but the boring game, uninspired commercials, and general lack of excitement made it a somewhat underwhelming event. I had a good time, but this was about as beat as a Super Sunday can be. Seattle got jobbed a little bit by the refs, but neither team really played well and the Seahawks certainly had their chances. Miss the game? Check out the Sports Guy's running diary.

Two Super Bowl Notes:

1) This whole officiating controversey that has plagued the NFL throughout the 2005 playoffs has me wondering: is it even possible to get all the calls right in the NFL? We have our best crews doing the playoffs, we have the benefit of instant replay, we have allowed more time to be certain on the calls by allowing all the refs to confer before making a ruling, and we still blatantly miss lots of crucial, game-changing calls with alarming frequency. Maybe it's that some of these calls are simply too hard to see, and the camera angles don't always get the full picture either. I don't know. But the league needs to look at doing something to get these calls right. Too many playoff moments this year were ruined by bad calls. I'm not sure what the answer is, but I don't get paid to figure out it out. Someone solve this problem.

2) Jerome Bettis had a great career. He is a media darling, a good team player, and a great locker room presence. But he does not deserve to go to the Hall of Fame. In 13 seasons, he never led the NFL in rushing. He finished in the top-10 in rushing only five times in 13 years (with two 9th place finishes). He failed to hit 1,000 yards 5 times, and failed to hit 1,100 yards 8 times. He was, for his entire career, a one-dimensional player. He was a bad receiver (200 career catches), had the third-lowest average per carry of anyone in the top 25 in career rushing yards (3.9 yards), and averaged less than 4 yards per carry in 9 seasons, including 4 of his 1,000 yard seasons. He is tied for 8th in rushing touchdowns, but there are handful of great backs within a few scores, so he will undoubtedly fall off that list within a season or two.

He was durable, dependable, a good goal-line back, and a great Steeler, but that doesn't come close to putting him in the discussion of the greatest backs of all time. Want 10 that are better off the top of my head? Okay: Jim Brown, Walter Payton, Barry Sanders, Emmit Smith, Gale Sayers, Franco Harris, Thurman Thomas, Earl Campbell, John Riggins, and the Juice. There you go.

*The Hawks are rolling right along, after a 26-point drubbing of Michigan at home, Iowa remains undefeated in Carver-Hawkeye and has taken over first place in the Big Ten. We have to figure out how to win on the road, starting with a big matchup at Northwestern tomorrow, where we have lost four of the last five games. Let's keep it up.

*One week until pitchers and catchers report to Spring Training. It's an exciting year for the Cubs, with lots of new acquisitions and the possibility of a healthy rotation for the first time in a couple of years. Our bullpen looks better too. Check out the Cubs Spring Training Guide.

On to non-sports related items:

*The Muslim world is in an uproar over cartoon depictions of the Prophet Muhammed that originally appeared in a Danish newspaper. I hope that the leaders of largely Islamic nations will soon ask that the protesters stop the violence (and Kofi Annan agrees). Four protesters (presumably all Muslim) have already been killed. I don't think the anger of the Muslim world is necessarily unjustified, but the negative consequences of the cartoons are multiplied when these demonstrations cause needless deaths.

One other note: I think this issue is a very important one (freedom of speech/press versus religious tolerance and respect) and we should feel free to discuss it here and elsewhere. But Islam forbids depictions of Muhammed, and out of respect for this precept, the Offering will not be publishing any of the controversial cartoons or linking to them on the internet.

*Samuel Alito was confirmed as the Supreme Court's 110th justice last week. Yee ha. It was a largely partisan vote (4 Dems broke ranks), and not a surprising one. This will give the right wing a solid block of four votes on most or all social issues (Scalia, Thomas, Roberts, and Alito), with a strong moderate block as well (Stevens, Breyer, Souter). This court is a young one (with the exception of 116 year-old John Paul Stevens), so it has a chance to make a lot of landmark decisions. I hope that the scales haven't tipped too far toward literal interpretation of the Constitution. I like implied rights.

*Apparently, the State of the Union is still strong. Record deficits, a military quagmire abroad, and rampant fear-mongering may indicate otherwise, but anyway: President Bush delivered his 5th SOTU address last week, and focused on Iraq, energy alternatives, and the success of his various domestic programs.

*R.I.P., Coretta Scott King. If you want to get learned on some civil rights stuff, check out this Offering post: Got MLK?

*Scientists have found a "garden of Eden" in New Guinea, a complete, untouched ecosystem hosting hundreds of new species of plants and animals. If you were going to discover something in your lifetime, wouldn't this be high up on your list? Isn't finding a land untouched by humans with literally hundreds of never-before-seen plants and animals so much better than finding a skeleton, or old artifacts, or even a pyramid or tomb? To me, this would be so much cooler.

*If you need to drink this soda, you need help.

*John McCain and Barack Obama are fighting over lobbying reform, but I'm not sure what McCain is so furious about. Maybe the GOP just felt like knocking a Democratic superstar down a notch or two. I don't know. Here is a good summary of the battle of words.

Finally, the Offering welcomes a regular reader to the Windy City as a brand new resident as of tomorrow. You're going to like Chicago, Speedy.

More later this week.
t

Memo to the Big Ten: Come Get Some

And it looks like our guys may get some after the game, as well. The Hawks laid a woodshed beating on Indiana last night 73-60, which ran their home record to 11-0. Iowa was led by a strong performance from the above-pictured Adam Haluska, who chipped in 20 points, 10 boards, and played solid defense all night as well. And let it be known that the co-eds at Iowa reward a good outing. And I love the expression on the young lady's friend in the lower left-hand corner. As if she didn't know it was coming. I just hope they don't share a room...

It's a big win for the Hawks, as it comes on the heels of one of the worst beatings in modern Hawkeye history. Last Saturday's 30-point embarrassment at Michigan State could have been a season-turning game, as we have a very tough road ahead, but Iowa knows that the key to competing in the Big Ten is to hold serve at home and steal a couple of games on the road. Next up is yet another ranked opponent, #16 Ohio State, in Carver-Hawkeye Arena. If we can pull off another big home win, I think it will push us back into the rankings, give our fans some energy going into the last stretch of the regular season, and give our team confidence for the 6 of our last 9 games that come on the road.

This team seems almost unbelieveably schizophrenic. One day they can get blown out by 30, shoot 1-18 from downtown, and the next they shoot 69% in the second half, hold the #11 team in the nation to a season low shooting percentage, and start the second half with a 14-0 run? It's hard to know what to make of this team. But they are definitely playing good enough to make me want to watch. Go Hawks.

T

Weekend Recap: Evening Edition

I am about as busy right now as I've ever been at work, so the content this week may be sporadic. But highlights from the weekend that was:

Friday I went to this place for the first time; I thought the menu definitely left a little to be desired, but the wine list is good, the service was great, and the atmosphere was just right for a wine bar. Props. Also had a couple of drinks afterward here, which is a good little find as well.

Saturday night gave inspiration to yet another chapter of my unfinshed novel: "Sketchy Decisions and Sketchier Memories: One Man's Journey through a Lifetime of All-You-Can-Drink Specials". The scene of the crime this time was a familiar haunt. Bar traffic was low; hence we gained maximum value during the AYCD hours. Afterward, I headed downtown to a bar that I won't be returning to in the near future. It was my maiden voyage there and I think I saw enough. Needless to say, I unloaded with both barrels on Saturday night and finished the night in usual fashion: leaning against my bathroom wall, muttering "Why do you do this to yourself?" I guess you can take the kid out of the college, but you can't take the college out of the kid.

Quick hit thoughts on the AFC and NFC championship game (both of which stunk):

NFC: Matt Hasselbeck, not Shaun Alexander, is making the Seattle offense go right now. I thought he did a great job dictating the tempo of the game, keeping Carolina on its heels, and making sure that the Seahawks left no doubt. Alexander looked a step slow (despite 132 tough yards), especially on the edge. That defense is playing well right now, keyed by strong play by Lofa Tatupu and Michael Boulware. Carolina was just too beat up going into the game, with no running backs to speak of (even Nick Goings got knocked out of the game after gaining two total yards) and Dan Morgan also didn't last too long. You can't beat Seattle, in Seattle, with half of your team. You probably can't beat them anywhere with half of your team. Steve Smith was a non-factor, and he only got that punt return all the way to the house because of a block in the back. You're better than that, Ed Hochuli.

AFC: Denver really laid an egg on Sunday. Jake the Mistake turned it over four times; credit an attacking Pittsburgh defense led by Joey Porter and Larry Foote. I love how the Steelers are playing right now- focused, energetic but not wound too tight, mistake free and even-keel. Sunday's win was their 7th in a row, and they had to have every single one (remember, they were 7-5 and on the outside looking in for the playoffs). They started their Super Bowl run a month early and it seems they have forgotten how to lose. Also, I have to say that Denver's secondary is just putrid. John Lynch, as most people know, is pretty much worthless in coverage. Domonique Foxworth probably was the worst player on the field on Sunday. Champ Bailey is a good player but was a non-factor in the game (and Cedrick Wilson embarrassed him on that slant-corner for a TD in the first half). Overall, when the front four don't get pressure, the Denver secondary looks like the football team from the Denver Asthmatic School for the Blind out there. Big Ben exposed that unit.

After seeing these two games, I have to say that Pittsburgh is playing better than any team in the league right now. For what it's worth, I think Seattle is the best team in the NFC too, but they can't stand up to this blitzing 3-4 defense with all-world safety Troy Polamalu helping against the run and in coverage. And, the Seahawks have to go out and try to stop Fast Willie, the Bus, and Big Ben with all those quality receivers. It's too much. And don't forget that Pittsburgh has two of the best play-calling coordinators in the business with Ken Whisenhunt and Dick LeBeau too, and throw in the fact that the Super Bowl is basically going to be a home game for the Steelers. Pittsburgh is nearby and those fans love to travel. I have the Steelers by a least a touchdown in the Big Game. The Bus retires with a ring in his hometown, and Big Ben becomes the youngest Super Bowl-winning QB ever.

That's all for now. Back to work. Have a great week.
t

Scattered Thoughts: Friday Afternoon Edition

No running theme to today's post, it's just Friday afternoon and almost time to pack it in for the week. It's been a busy, busy week for me and it looks to get worse in coming weeks. Here are a few items that caught my fancy today:


1) I'm getting with the times and finally having an HD cable box with DVR installed this weekend. I like TV, no doubt about it. And when you're in my line of work, it's basically impossible to watch a show regularly during the week, because you never know when you're going to be at work all night. Plus it's just tough to make it home on time. DVR will fix that. I'll have an endless supply of Family Guy, Arrested Development, and all the other stuff that I like to watch. I hear that it is life-changing. I'm glad I'm finally getting with the program.

2) Great story about the defense-minded Hawkeye basketball team, and how our state is going to send three teams to the NCAA tourney. Always like to see us on the front page of ESPN.com.

3) Whether you're for the war, or against the war, we can all agree: Shut up, Star Jones. You are on notice.

4) Brokeback Mountain is No. 1 in America. I still haven't seen it, but it's first on my list right now. There are a million movies I've missed in the last few months. Blame it on the hectic holiday schedule and a busy start to the new year at work. Screwsan has some words of praise for the Ang Lee blockbuster, which took home four Golden Globes this week.

Aside on the Globes: I really don't care what the Hollywood foreign press thinks, but I like this awards show because it's a dinner event, so half of the people are loaded and saying or doing funny things by the end. Here's a game: See how many bottles of champagne you can count every time they show a nominee in the audience. The numbers can be staggering.

5) Hilarious episode about how Isiah Thomas wants to beat up my favorite sports writer, Bill Simmons.

6) "In this division, it's all about Chicago now." You damn skippy, Brad Childress.

7) A bad idea, but wouldn't you do the same?

8) Finally, 62 days until the Bachelor Party to end all Bachelor Parties. We have a roster of 12 highly motivatated gentlemen bound for Amsterdam in March, with at least two more to be added in the next couple of days. It promises to be a perfect storm of gregarious personalities, bad judgment, and a celebratory atmosphere in a foreign environment. My excitement is only tempered by my legitimate fear that someone is going to irreparably harm their health, criminal record or political future. It will be very difficult to restrain this group in any way, shape, or form. Imagine pulling the reins on a team of Clydesdales, only the Clydesdales are drunk, hyperactive, totally irresponsible, and haven't slept in three days.

It's safe to say that we won't be doing anything for America's reputation abroad.

Have a great weekend.
t

Bears: Season in Review

The sting of the shocking playoff loss to the Carolina Panthers has subsided enough to post my season in review for the Pride and Joy of Illinois. Although it ended in terrible fashion, we have a lot to be proud of and a lot to look forward to.

Highlights: NFC North Champions, 11-5 regular season record, 5-1 divisional record, #2 Seed and Week 1 bye in the 2006 Playoffs, 6 Pro Bowl Selections.

Lowlights: Week 3 loss to Bengals (5 INTs), Week 4 loss to Browns, Opening Day loss to Redskins, Rex Grossman's preseason injury, and playoff loss to Carolina.

Things to look forward to in 2006: Every defensive starter is signed through at least 2006 except Hunter Hillenmeyer (and we can match any offer for him), Rex Grossman's progress through a healthy off-season, the return of Mark Bradley to the receiving corps, adding depth on offense in the draft, and every other NFC North team starting over with a new head coach next season. We should be the prohibitive favorites in the division in 2006.

2006 Prediction: You can see our opponents, although not the exact schedule, here. We only play one tough road game next year, at Foxboro against the Patriots. Other than that, it's just the divisional games, the Cardinals, the Rams, the Jets, and a mystery NFC East team. The home schedule is soft too, with the Bills, 49ers, Dolphins, and an NFC South team coming to Soldier Field. The toughest game at home should be the Seahawks. I'm going to predict another 11-5 season, which will win the division and get us a home playoff game once again. It's the first time in a while that I have felt genuinely optimistic this early about our chances to be an elite NFC team in the coming season. It's a good feeling.

THE 2005 PUBLIC OFFERING AWARDS SECTION:

The Walter Payton Award for the Most Valuable Player: Brian Urlacher. The NFL's Defensive MVP, the heart and soul of the best defense in football, and an off-the-field leader. He is a fast, remorseless tackling machine who plays the game with hate in his heart. Nothing more needs to be said.

The Jonathan Quinn Award for the Least Valuable Player: Kyle Orton. I know he is a rookie, but we don't factor in experience at the Offering, just performance. Lowest QB rating in the NFL, abysmal TD/INT ratio, absolutely no pocket presence, terribly inaccurate, and he made our offense one-dimensional at best and utterly anemic at worst. People need to realize that we won in spite of Orton, not because of him. Around here, you get zero points for "managing games" and "avoiding killer mistakes". In basketball, you don't praise centers for not missing dunks, and in baseball, you don't praise pitchers for not beaning hitters. Because it's part of the job. Honorable mention to Cedric Benson, for his holdout and lack of production.

The Willie Parker Award for Most Pleasant Surprise: Tie, between Tommie Harris and Nate "The Interceptor" Vasher. We knew both of these guys were good, but we didn't know that they were "best in the conference" good. Nobody is a bigger disruption up front than Tommie Harris, and he makes it impossible to double-team our great defensive ends. And besides authoring the longest play in NFL history this year, Nate Vasher quite simply intercepts everything thrown his way. They have to hold him down on the sidelines during pre-game so he doesn't go out there and intercept the coin flip. Honorable mention to Thomas Jones, who had a great year despite facing 8 in the box on every play.

The Ryan Leaf Award for Least Pleasant Surprise: Mushin Muhammed. I realize that he didn't have a great situation coming into this year, with Orton at the helm and facing a lot of double teams, but 4 TDs while coming in second in the league in dropped passes? That's not acceptable. Moose, we're thrilled to have you in Chicago and that won't change. But you're better than that, and we need to see it.

The Reese Morgan Award for Best Assistant Coach: Ron Riveria. He runs the best, most efficient, most opportunistic defense in the NFL, and he almost always finds a way.

The Ryan Hansen Award for Best Special Teams/Role Player: Brendon Ayanbadejo. Our special teams missile was around the ball all year and while you may not know him, he made a huge contribution in an underrated phase of the game. Brad Maynard was in contention until he absolutely laid a turd in the playoffs. Shanked punts of 13 and 19 yards when we were already losing the field position game? Inexcusable.

The Chad Hutchinson "Don't Let the Door Hit Your Ass on the Way Out" Award: Bobby Wade. This man did nothing for us except hand the ball to the other team. I'd let him stick around to carry Urlacher's jock, but he'd probably fumble it three times. Good riddance.

The Dick Butkus "You're in the United States of the Chicago Bears and our Chief Export is Pain" Award: Lance Briggs. This man decleated people at every possible opportunity and played at a Pro Bowl level all year long. He is the Pain Train, and opposing running backs had first class tickets on the express each and every week.

The Terrell Owens Ass Clown of the Year Award: Tie between Olin Kreutz and Fred Miller. I know it wasn't a big deal, but to get drunk at an FBI shooting range, pop off some of the hardware, and then get into a fistfight than lands one of you on the DL is a little much for in-season antics. We don't need that. Honorable mention to Cedric Benson for holding out through training camp and then complaining about playing time.

The Vince Lombardi Best Coaching Decision of the Year Award: To Lovie Smith for the gameplan in the Week 11 Carolina game and the Week 15 Falcons game. Both must win games, both very difficult matchups, and both utilized masterful coaching.

The Mike Martz Worst Coaching Decision of the Year Award: Also to Lovie Smith, for insisting on using Charles Tillman and Chris Thompson to cover Steve Smith in the playoff game. His rationale? "Our corners cover a side, not a receiver." When an opposing receiver has 100 yards in the first quarter in a playoff game, it's time to change the rules. Nate Vasher can intercept a receiver's mouthguard before it gets into his mouth. Use your best players to make the toughest plays.

The Britney Spears "Used to Be Hot" Award: Mike Green. Lost his job to a rookie, didn't perform well when he got another chance, and in general, is our fourth best safety on his good days. 2001-2002 seems like a long time ago.

The Maria Sharapova Rookie of the Year Award: Maria Sharapova is in her rookie year of consenting age, and Chris Harris is the Offering's Rookie of the Year on the Bears. Instinctive, hard-hitting, lots of upside, takes losses hard, and in general is a great contributor. His breakout game was his 8 tackle, two INT, two pass breakup performance at Green Bay. Welcome to the show, kid. We're happy to have you.

The Mike Ditka Bear Down Chicago Bears Award: This award goes to the player that most epitomizes the Chicago Bear attitude, both on the field and off, and is the player that I would want to represent this franchise for any reason. This year, it goes to Mike Brown and Brian Urlacher. These two guys play hurt, demand nothing less than a supreme effort from all their teammates, hit hard, provide energy and leadership, and aren't afraid to take responsibility for how the team performs. They are my Bears of the Year. We're lucky to have them both, despite some injury problems over the last couple of seasons. When you play as hard as they do, you get hurt. Brian Urlacher is the best overall defender in the league right now, and when Brown is healthy, there isn't a better all-around safety.

Time to close the door on the 2005 season. It was a great one and I'm proud to be a Bears fan.

And now, without further ado...Go Cubs. It's our year.

t

Beartrapped, and a day fit for a King

Well, the pictures say it all. Steve Smith tore through the Chicago Bears defense like he was invisible yesterday, and the Bears dreams of a trip to Detroit ended in sickening fashion. The Bears didn't play particularly well in any phase of the game, especially in the first half. Charles Tillman fell down on the second play from scrimmage, and with no safety help over the top, Smith broke free for a 59-yard touchdown (which raises the question, why is our second-best cornerback playing Smith with no double team coming from the second level? Why aren't we shading our safeties to Smith's side in case the corner gets burned at the line?).

Things didn't improve all that much after that. Smith finished with 12 catches for 218 yards and two scores, as well as another 26 on the ground. That means in two games this year against Chicago, Smith has racked up an almost comical 26 catches for 387 yards, two touchdowns, and well over 400 total yards from scrimmage. He is maybe 5'9", and he is the only player that the Bears couldn't stop this year. Ridiculous. I am very sad to see the year end this way. It's exactly like 2001...an overachieving team that has an anemic offense and is carried by a big-play defense lays an egg at home in the first playoff game. I hated to see the front seven disappear like they did yesterday, especially after eating the Carolina offense alive last time around. Next year seems like a long way off.

Three biggest keys to the loss:

3) Slow start on offense. If your defense gives up early points, you have to be able to answer. Rex Grossman started 0-6 and 3-14 for two yards. That doesn't get the job done.

2) We lost the field position game. When you go 3-and-out for almost an entire half, your defense is going to give up points no matter how good they are. The Bears are simply not built to play from behind. We can't afford to go down 10 early and play the whole game on our side of the field, like we did.

1) Of course, the career day by Smith. Our corners have done a great job all year containing receivers, keeping everything in front of them, and avoiding the big play. We didn't do that yesterday, and it was most certainly the reason we lost.

Well, football is officially over for Chicago fans. Although we have the championship games and the Super Bowl ahead of us, is there any team to get excited about? Does anyone care about a Denver-Seattle Super Bowl? I don't. Pitchers and catchers report in a month. I'm just waiting for that day so I can wash the taste of defeat out of my mouth and focus on a great 2006 campaign by the Cubs.




In other news, happy Martin Luther King Day. I don't have the day off of work, but many of you do and although you're probably spending it having fun, take a second to think about MLK and the uphill battle that he fought bravely for such a long time. Here are a few MLK thoughts for you, straight from the man himself:

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."

"We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools."

"The hope of a secure and livable world lies with disciplined nonconformists who are dedicated to justice, peace and brotherhood."

"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."

"When you are right you cannot be too radical; when you are wrong, you cannot be too conservative."

And lastly,

"The good neighbor looks beyond the external accidents and discerns those inner qualities that make all men human and, therefore, brothers."

My generation is really too young to truly identify with the civil rights movement in this country, but as someone who absolutely loves being a witness to history, there are a lot of moments I wish I had been around to see. Which ones would you like to have been a part of? Check out this timeline to see what went down and this list of all the historic venues of the movement.

Finally here is the site for Veterans of the Civil Rights Movement, with stories, anecdotes, and lots of other information about what happened in this truly fascinating period of our history.

I hope that you all have a great day off. I doubt that anyone would deny that we still have a long, long way to go in terms of equality and civil rights in this country, but when you consider the state of affairs before Martin Luther King, Jr. and the civil rights movement, it's encouraging to think about how far we've come.

T

Rants and Raves- Fritaturday Edition

It's almost go time. Fritaturday is what happens when the whole weekend sort of blends into one long, hyperactive blowout. This weekend is going to be one of those, because TheGirl is throwing a bachelorette party for her pal and thus I am being left to my own devices until we return to work on Monday (for some of you, Tuesday).

First though, a little Martin Luther King trivia: What Beatles song is a metaphor for the civil rights movement? Answer at the end of this post.

Rants:

1) Scummy lobbyists. Does anyone without $5 million to spend on influence have a voice in government anymore? Both parties are guilty. Wag of the finger to both of you.

2) Stealing my email address. I've been receiving "returned mail: service unavailable" messages lately, showing me that someone is using a POP mail server or like device to pretend that I am spamming people. Stop that, you dumb jerks.

3) School shootings. We are the only country in the world with this problem. I don't know why, but I'm not sending my kids to school abroad some day, so cut it out.

Raves:

1) Lots of good press for that nasty Bear defense. I can't tell you the last time I was so anxious for an NFL game. Might I say January 26, 1986?

2) Landmark on Halsted. Great space, great eye candy, and not smoky. Tip of the cap to you, Landmark.

3) Troop withdrawal. I'm not getting into the pros and cons of the war in Iraq here, but I will say that no more troops dying is an unqualified good thing.

4) All-you-can-drink. I'm hitting one tonight at Murphy's Bleachers. Like K-Rock says, they allow you to indulge in the great Chicago nightlife for a fixed price, which is great considering that my 401K plan has kicked in and I am now working with 20% less disposable income each and every day.

Fritaturday is upon us, so it's time for me to sign off. Have a great weekend, and let's BEAR DOWN, Chicago.

Answer to trivia question: Blackbird.

More on civil rights on Monday.
T

Loyalty, Fraud, and Pigs that Glow in the Dark

First thing's first on this bright, beautiful Thursday in Chicago: Iowa coach Kirk Ferentz is staying right where he belongs. Iowa fans can breathe a long sigh of relief that we get our coach back for at least one more season. With Drew Tate coming into his senior year, 16 starters returning, and some excellent young athletes coming off redshirt seasons, expectations will be (justifiably) high next year and dealing with a new coaching staff would have been difficult. Although I can see why coach Ferentz would want to move to the NFL: bigger city, more money, higher profile, a new challenge, more resources, no NCAA regulations, etc, etc, there is also a compelling argument for staying, and apparently he knows it too.

Iowa City is a great little town (where $1.5 million buys a lot), he has started a culture of winning in the football program, we contend for the Big Ten title pretty much every year (won at least a share two of the last four), we've had four straight January bowl games, a sold out stadium, and coach Ferentz has a chance to retire as the anointed king of Iowa for all eternity. He is beloved in my home state and it would crush his fan base to see him leave for the pros.

Thanks for staying, coach.


Now on to other things.
My friend Susan gave her take on the whole scandal involving James Frey's book A Million Little Pieces, which is a memoir about the depths to which the author sank when battling various addictions to drugs.

Personally, I think it's pretty disingenuous to call anything a memoir that contains parts that are embellished or just plain made up out of whole cloth. Frey obviously had a tough journey in recovering from addiction. I don't deny that. But it smells like he saw an opportunity that he wanted to capitalize on, but knew that his book would sell better if his past was more violent and filled with despair, so he made up entire parts (or at least episodes) to make the book more marketable. That's fine. But if you're going to do that, call it fiction and tout it as being "based on the life of the author." Millions of people were inspired by his story, in large part because they believed he conquered numerous situations that seemed hopeless. It's not inspiring when those situations never happened. It's dangerously close to fraudulent. That's my two cents. I made further comments on Susan's blog.

Two families are leasing themselves out on ebay. The lucky winner gets five years of service from the families, from cooking to autobody service. The price? $1.5 million. They've already been contacted by an agent. I'm thinking my price would be more in the $100-$200 range.

This is an excellent and practical use of science.

We love prescription drugs in this country. I am serious when I say that while I'm sure there are lots that I would like, I think the only prescription drug I have ever taken is Amoxicillan.

And finally, we're getting a little closer to a bird flu pandemic. I'm not worried yet though.

Have a good Thursday. We're almost to the weekend.

Welcome New Visitors

TGIF everyone. I'd like to give a quick shout out to the astonishing number of new visitors to the Offering that we have gotten in recent weeks. I'm sure that word of mouth combined with my saavy prose, quick wit, and sharp insight on all manner of sports and political issues is the best explanation for the surge in Offering attendance lately, but I do admit that there may be another reason: my Jenn Sterger post. For those that came here after Googling that FSU vixen, I hope you enjoyed the links, and if you are aware of any more, feel free to drop me a line and I'll add them to the post as well as give you props.

It's Friday and the weekend is upon us. We'll be keeping a close eye on the state of Prime Minister Ariel Sharon (and ignoring what the morons say about his stroke) as well as the big wild-card matchups in the NFL, which will determine who gets to be Bear food next Sunday against the beloved.

A few more Friday odds and ends, just for fun:

Memo to Kate Moss: The world already thinks you're a vapid, coked-out freak show. Don't make it worse.

Memo to Taiwan: If you don't want the pandas, we'll take them. They're furry and cute.

Memo to my fellow Chicagoans: We did it! Unlike the White Sox World Series Championship, being the Fattest City in America is something that we can actually be proud of. It shows that we're not afraid to live the good life. I'm going to do my best to help us repeat in 2006.

Memo to the GOP: Watch your back. This election year could a fascinating one.

Have a great weekend.

Texas Two-Step

The last two BCS games have caused most of the football-watching world to sleepwalk through the work week, but this last one was worth it. Texas and its inVinceable quarterback Vince Young toppled the Evil Empire last night by the slimmest of margins, as Young put up a 200/200 passing and rushing game and scored the winning touchdown almost untouched from the 9-yard line with 19 seconds to go. A great finish to a great bowl season. Our hats are off toYoung and the entire Texas squad, who came in with none of the hype and few believers, and derailed what could have been one of the best-remembered college football dynasties every to step out on the field.

We at the Offering don't feel bad for Matt Leinart and Reggie Bush. I'm sure that the pain of this loss will be mitigated by focusing the rest of the year on partying, a cakewalk class schedule, and weekly trysts with gorgeous USC and Hollywood co-eds before signing for about $50 million apiece in the 2006 NFL draft. You don't get any sympathy for that.

Other coverage of the Rose Bowl and college football at large: Sports Guy's running diary of the game, a blog explaining why this game doesn't justify wasting a top pick on Vince Young, and "Sneering" Stewart Mandel's top 10 college football teams for 2006.

Personally, I don't think Vince Young should stay in college. His draft status can't get any higher, he's leaving after a perfect game on the ultimate stage, and if he waits around another year, pro scouts will dissect that throwing motion and may reconsider. Plus, he'll be tough for the Hawkeyes to contain when they get to the national title game next year.

Speaking of the Hawkeyes, here's a little mea culpa from the incompetant Conference USA crew that botched the Iowa-Florida bowl game on Monday. Thanks for the apology, guys. Now if you could just head down to Florida and convince all those recruits that we lost on Monday to come to Iowa anyway, we'll be even steven.

And one more Iowa note, the Hawks open up the Big Ten season tonight with a tough roadie at Wisconsin. It's going to be a dogfight in the Big Ten this year, with lots of good teams but nobody that seems dominant yet. And don't worry, Illinois fans: your team will come down to earth soon enough.

And just for fun, here's a gallery of star athletes and their tattoos. My favorite tat these days is the "Lights Out" light switch on Shawn Merriman's forearm.

Have a great Thursday. The weekend's almost here.

Monday Recap: Tuesday Hangover Edition

As I emerge from a stuporous haze that was the long New Year's weekend, I believe it is safe to say that my life is now going to be a year or two shorter. Yikes. There were some ups and downs this weekend, so let's start with the ups:

1) New Year's Eve: It was great, with the exception of my total brutality. Champagne tasting at 7:30 until about 10:30 or so, and then off to Pint on Milwaukee for the party. I had a little too much party early on in the evening, and exhibited some flu-like symptoms later. Not impressive, and my condition did not allow me to have a lot of memorable social interaction at the main event. I am disappointed in myself for not fully enjoying such a fun event such as New Year's Eve. Awesome Rating: 7.75/10. I still had a lot of fun.

2) Sunday- New Year's Eve, Part II: An afternoon hangover brunch was just what the doctor ordered, and the crew grubbed at my house while we watched the Bears game. Then K-Rock and I tied it on in unsubtle fashion at a variety of establishments on Southport into the wee hours. I had a good old time on a night that was surprisingly lively considering it was January 1st. Awesome Rating: 8/10.

3) Monday- New Year's Eve, Part III: The crew assembled at my place at 7:15 AM Monday morning to begin preparations for the final football outing of the year as our beloved Hawkeyes were taking on Florida at the ungodly hour of 10:00 AM. We polished off the last, and highly symbolic, bottle of Dizzle along with the remains of the NYE supplies, got to the bar at 8:30, and were joined by an enormous and rowdy crew of Hawk fans. Great times for our last hurrah to the 2005 season. Already looking forward to 2006. Awesome Rating (excluding game outcome): 9/10.

And now for the downs:

3) The Bears got killed in the regular season finale against the Vikings, but rested all the starters and will be pretty darn healthy for the Divisional Playoff game in two weeks at Soldier Field. The defense lost the #1 ranking on the last day of the season, but we all know what this unit has done for the team, and we don't care about stats. We accomplished our main goal Sunday, which was get out of the Metrodome without any injuries. Awesome Rating: 3/10.

2) The Big Ten stinks at bowl games. With losses piling up and Wisconsin and Ohio State posting the only victories in the bowl season, our conference isn't doing a lot to garner national respect. The most embarrassing losses so far have been Michigan's loss to unranked Nebraska and Virginia handling Minnesota with the air attack. Right now we're 2-4 with Penn State yet to play. Let's try to maintain a little dignity here. Awesome Rating: 1/10.

1) The Hawkeyes were victims of sloppy defense, bad special teams play, and several TERRIBLE calls in a 31-24 defeat to Florida. There were a lot of things that went badly for the Hawks yesterday morning, so I'll just mention my three worst aspects and the three worst calls, and let you find out the rest. It's just too painful to bring up everything here.

Three worst things about the Hawks game:

3) We couldn't stop the run. When you can run at will, the pass opens up and then Chris Leak and Co. will kill you. And that's what they did.

2) Giving up big plays. A blocked Iowa punt that was returned for a TD, an INT return for a TD, and worst of all, a demoralizing TD drive in the final minute of the first half. We should have been down 17-10 at the half at worst; instead, it was 24-7.

1) Lack of execution. We missed a ton of tackles, managed 64 yards rushing, had to throw 55 times, couldn't stop a fake punt that Florida had the gall to try on their own 19-yard line (and the drive that was extended eventually resulted in a touchdown), and in general, executed our blocks and protections poorly. It's disappointing not only because it was the biggest factor in the loss, but because we finished the regular season playing our best football and Iowa is known for having solid fundamental execution in the three most important areas of the game: blocking, tackling, and minimizing mistakes. We looked lost out there.

Now, I know that officiating wasn't the only cause of the Iowa loss, but this was absolutely inexcusable. The Conference USA team did a TERRIBLE job officiating this game, most notably on a few key plays that didn't go Iowa's way. This is NOT sour grapes, and the ESPN crew calling the game pointed out the fallacy of each and every one of these calls (as did the replay, which clearly showed the error, but there was no review of any of them). With the possible exception of the Iwebema penalty, these were not disputed calls. They were plain wrong.

Here are my three worst calls of the game:

3) Kenny Iwebema's roughing personal foul in the first half. Ridiculous. He didn't throw Leak into the ground, he didn't hit him late, he just hit him. It was clean, and everyone knew it.

2) The out-of-bounds call on Ed Hinkel's first down catch in the first half. He was clearly in bounds, in the air, with room to spare between his body and the sideline. He was pushed out of bounds by a Florida defender and the pass was called incomplete. Ridiculous. And you can guess what happened after that call. Fourth down, an Iowa punt, and a Florida touchdown.

1) The inexcusable, idiotic, and plainly wrong offsides call on the last kickoff of the game. With 1:22 remaining and the Hawks down 31-24, they attempted and recovered an onside kick, leaving about 40 yards to paydirt that would tie the game (or give the Hawks a chance to win if they go for 2). The referees called Chad Greenway for being offsides when the ball was kicked, when the replay showed that he was CLEARLY at least a step behind the ball.

Did that call decide the game? No. There is no guarantee that we would have scored 7 points on that last drive. But we were driving the ball very well at that point (17 fourth quarter points) and the officials robbed Iowa of a legitimate chance to tie the game on a call that is rarely used and very easy to distinguish between a penalty or no penalty. The ref is standing on the line of scrimmage. It's easy to see if a player runs ahead of the kick. Greenway didn't. Iowa was robbed of a chance to complete a phenomenal comeback. We got screwed with our pants on, and it's sad to see a game end like that. Awesome Rating: 0.00/10.


In other news, I'm starting my first axe class at this place tonight, so my budding rock star career has gotten a boost. I'll let you know when my first album comes out.

Okay, Happy New Year everyone. The year is off to an inauspicious start for me, but that's largely a product of my own indulgence in New Year's celebrations, so I am not going to project it over the entirety of the year. May you have health, luck and success in 2006.